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sunshine10 asked in PetsCats · 9 years ago

My cat died and i can't move on..i'm terribly heartbroken?

Only true cat lovers will understand..I lost my cat on feb 4th. He was the love of my life..he did everything with me..he slept in my arms like a baby every night. I am a grown woman..not a child so know i should be thinking clearly and i'm not. I have 5 other cats so getting another one isn't the answer.

This cat was so different..he was only 11 years old and meant the world to me. I would have literally sold my body parts to have saved him...he had a tumor in his jaw and i even went to a specialist 3 hours away. No one could help him and i feel like the cat trusted me and i let him down...i couldn't save him. This is such a horrible feeling to know i couldn't fix this and the poor cat didn't understand this...i keep thinking on that last ride to the vet how i i killed him. I am so heartbroken and will never get over this...i literally can't function. I don't know what to do to stop this horrible heartbreak.

Update:

For the last post who said IT'S A BLESSING THE CAT WAS SICK THE LAST 4 YEARS AFTER READING OVER MY POSTS...YOU DON'T READ VERY WELL BECAUSE I HAVE 5 OTHER CATS...THE ONE THAT WAS SICK THE LAST 4 YEARS IS ALIVE AND DOING FINE...YOU JUST "ASSUMED"

13 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm so sorry...I do know the heartbreak of losing a beloved cat. I finally had to euthanize my cat at age 20, and she was a true member of the family. I bawled my eyes out. I'm not sure that animals really understand death. They have survival instincts, of course, but beyond that I don't think there is really an awareness. I did the opposite of you...waited too long to put my cat to sleep. By the time I finally did, she was only days, perhaps hours away from death, and I couldn't bear to see her suffer any more. I feel I was selfish in waiting so long, and truly regret that, but I just couldn't bear to part with her. What you did was far kinder to your pet. He was probably in pain from the tumor, and must have had trouble eating. You took away that pain. Your last act of mercy was also an act of great love, far harder for you than for him.

  • 5 years ago

    Let me help you. Your vet was seriously mistaken not to have known what the cat was sick from. Do not use this vet again. You did all the right things. I have my dearly beloved Andrew's ashes in a container. He was an African Grey parrot I raised from a tiny baby. He was 12 years old. I grieved and grieved. Then I saw "What Dreams May Come" where the dog that died years before is in 'heaven' happy, healthy and jumping on the newly dead father. Your cat is running through the fields of the gods right now, with her tail flying. Be joyful you had her love for so many years. Time will heal your sadness. Perhaps the humane society in your town has a kitten who needs your love.

  • 9 years ago

    In a way, I believe I can understand.

    We lost our 17 year old cat Mouse about a year ago, he was really sick and I think he might've had a heart attack or a seizure at the end of it all. And our other cat, has a cancerous growth in his mouth and he's slowing down.

    I want you to know it'll be all right, honestly. I have a very close relationship with my cats (and any animals, really) that nobody understands. Losing one is really hard, I know. It's like losing a family member. Because that really is what they are.

    Remember this, too. It's not your fault that he died. You didn't let him down.

    He was 11 years old? He lived a good long life. It sounded like you took great care of him.

    I am not sure what to say other than this. Just remember, please! That it'll be okay. :)

    Source(s): Experience.
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    I'm so sorry for your loss :( This shows how great of a person you are and how loving you are as a pet owner. I know its hard but you'll be okay you just need time.

    Think about the great times you had with you're cat instead of just thinking about the end when he fell sick.

    I really am sorry for your loss and I hope you feel better soon. I'm sure you didn't lose your cats trust. It was a good thing you did for your cat to relieve his pain, you did nothing wrong.

    You have a big heart and im sure your cat knew that all his life :)

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  • 9 years ago

    You have to start by forgiving yourself. You did Everything you could to save him. You did Not let him down, you cared for him and went far beyond what most people would do to find him help.

    There's no magic time that you'll just feel better. It's a slow and individual process. Do all you can to focus on the ones you still have. Constantly dwelling on what happened is going to keep you from finding peace.

    If you've gotten to the point of not being able to function I would recommend going to your doctor for help. I wouldn't normally recommend medicating a problem away, but there comes a point that you need to so you can start to deal better with life.

    Source(s): Owner of 6 cats- the oldest is 15 and I live in fear of loosing her. In the past year I have lost my Grandma and Mom. I understand the inability to function
  • Anonymous
    9 years ago

    You could talk to your doctor about getting antidepressants or even start some St. Johns wart. Really it's only time that will help and I know that's not helpful. I lost my Roxy girl in January and it still hurts so badly. I have a new kitten now and that helps but it also made me realize how special Roxy was because of course the kitten has a different personality. I am so sorry for your loss and I know what you're going through but don't be ashamed to get some professional help.

    Source(s): been there, done that unfortunately.
  • When you first lay eyes on your cat - in the cage at the ASPCA shelter - and you adopt that cat - you agree to a mutual contract with that cat that you will be the best steward ever.

    Part of that obligation - is to be a good steward not only during the good times - but also during the bad.

    As a good steward - you need to become the Sheppard that takes the kitty from a time of possible pain, possible discomfort, possible heroic medic treatments without any gain - and allows that kitty to pass - with dignity.

    This is part of the stewardship bargain that we make as pet owners.

    You did a good thing - ignore the naysayers - they just do not understand the obligation that stewards have agreed to.

  • 9 years ago

    Well, when you are that close to a pet, it is like losing a member of your family and there is no real solution because death is death! Time and grieving is all I can think of! I don't know if you had your cat cremated or if you buried him but you could make a "memory box" that includes his favorite blanket/throw, toys and such if you still have them, keep it as a memorial and whenever you want to remember him, just look at it! Just a suggestion!

  • 9 years ago

    hi. First I never had a cat but I did have a guinea pig who I cared about a lot. When he died I was depressed so im sure its around the same area. For ur situation you did the best you could and pretty much it was out of your power to help him or her. My advice is to do things you enjoy. Trust me dont think ab out your cat. Just do things you enjoy and hopefully you can move on. Hope this helps

  • john
    Lv 7
    9 years ago

    First of all,I know how much you loved that cat.We all have special kitties that touch our lives.I lost my beloved Fluffy three years ago this past February.

    But one thing that consoles me volunteering in cat rescue is that I have seen animals who have died in my arms that did not receive 11 seconds of love.

    I'm not sure whether you do this or not,but in memory of his life,you might consider getting involved with a rescue group and share your compassion with other people and kitties.

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