I went to church with my sister the other night, where they were "dancing in the spirit", & they were terrible?

Question

I live with my Christian sister and her dull husband, and they are always at me to do stuff like stop drinking, get a job, etc.  I know they would love for me to go to church and stop being a fabulous gay man, but I don't see any problem with me.  Yes, I'm in my 40s and still go clubbing, but I still look damn good, whereas they are potato-like people who lead boring lives.  Despite her assertions I DO work, and my webcam performance art is a big hit with the boys-with-toys crowd at XTube.  Anyway, I asked her for $300 to get some good product for my hair, and she was hesitant, so I said I wanted to look really good when I went to church with her.  I got the money, but then had to endure church.

So, I'm trying to fight my hangover in the back pew of the church, when all of a sudden the people start to "dance in the spirit".  I didn't know what was going on, so my sister explained what they were doing, and I was just shocked--they couldn't dance worth a used condom trampled on the floor of Rage in West Hollywood!  I stood up and said, "Oh no, people, you have to move on the beat!"  Of course, the music the organist was playing wasn't good for dancing, but still, these folks were the worst dancers I have ever seen!  One big ol' gal got up and started to move, and I said, "Uh-huh, sister!  Back that thang up and show me what you learned hagging it up on Fire Island!"  Imagine my disappointment, then, when she just sort of had spasms, like the rest of them.

I decided to show them some moves, and moved out into the aisle.  I didn't have club clothes on, but I loosened my tie, turned on my C+C Music Factory ring tone of "Everybody Dance Now", and put some flame on that burner!  Well, my sister and brother-in-law rushed up and dragged me back to my seat, and the minister came up and said that it was clear I was a "sodomite", and that they would be praying for me, that Jesus might have compassion on me and see that I get a cool spot in hell.

My sister and her husband are so mad at me now that they won't let me drive their spare car to go out, and have taken away my webcam!  All I was trying to do was help, and now everyone is being mean to me!  Why was it wrong to try to show those people how to dance?  They really did need help.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Jack, you embarrassed me and Leonard so bad! I can't show my face at the Ladies Aid Society now!! You need discipline. *sob*

Your loving and long-suffering sister.

PS: I made you those little cookies you like, they're on the kitchen counter.

Chris H · Answer

Wowww...I would have though you were 15 if you didn't specify your age. I mean c'mon, grow up! You're in the wrong for discriminating someone's religion. Why would you possibly think that it would be appropriate to do any of those things during the service? You seem extremely immature. Being gay has nothing to do with anything I'm saying, either. Cool, do your webcam thing and all that jazz, but seriously grow the eff up. I mean, I just turned 21 and I'm surpassing you SO MUCH in life right now! You should be grateful you have a sibling fairly excepting of you and your lifestyle, who also supports you! Do her a favor and stop bad mouthing them, get a REAL job and move out. I'm assuming you've been singly for quite some time as well. I mean who would date someone like you? Am I right?

Jelly · Answer

You sound like a bit of a "kidult." Yeah, the pastor was a bit of a dick, but you were also being disrespectful and are now complaining like a child. Dancing in the spirit is different than showing off your moves. Any attempt to look as though you were at a club would understandably be seen as the mocking of the congregation's beliefs and practices.

? · Answer

They're trying to keep up with the times Jack, but you're right, they'll never master break dancing without instruction.....

The  underlying fact is that even the Macarina is too difficult. I suggest you bring a couple of Tina Turner impersonators next time and try and start them all off with the Nutbush. Get back to Fundamentals.

Hugs
Gazpacho

Anonymous · Answer

Have you ever heard the saying : try anything once except incest and folk-dancing ?

(Nice clip Meds. I thought it was going to be the familiar video that goes with that song - which is amazing enough - but that live version is something else. That's what I call Spirit Dancing.)

THE NOLTE · Answer

Next time they start lurching on the church floor, show 'em how the Appalachian Pentecostals roll by throwing a few venomous snakes into the mix. The resultant dance moves should be wicked awesome.

Of course, you should post this footage on YouTube.

Gil · Answer

You know that when you're a 40 yr old and need to borrow a car to go clubbing that you have failed at life.

Anonymous · Answer

You need lessons in authentic "in the spirit" dance moves.
I highly recommend David Byrne:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-io-kZKl_BI&feature=related

Maurog IV · Answer

Frigid narrative, abridged male sibling.

Anonymous · Answer

This is a decent troll that made me smile. You can do better though.

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I went to church with my sister the other night, where they were "dancing in the spirit", & they were terrible?

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