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Friend going through divorce calls me everyday and compares my marriage to hers?
It's been a few months now and honestly, I'm burn out She calls during dinner with my family. I nipped that in the bud by telling her that it's family time. But she calls me during the day to talk about legal advice (I am not a lawyer). She is in shock, I get it, but then she says things like, "Who would have thought that your marriage would work out and mine not? My husband was perfect in every way. Okay, as girlfriends I would complain sometimes, but my hubby is a good guy. I've kept my mouth shut because I know that she's hurt but it's bothering me. How can I distance myself without looking like I'm abandoning her?
@ alialogg, I can see why you would get this impression from this short forum, but what I meant by complaining is silly stuff like cleaning the house, not marital problems. As for being a better friend, I moved back to LA from Washington to be closer to her when her husband first hit her. I don't know who else would be better. As for the family time, I only said that after this happened on several occassions and she could hear my 4 year old in the background begging me to get off of the phone. It was then that I realized that I was neglecting my own family. I do love her and have been there for her 110 %. I agree that this is a tough time for her and I do agree that it did **** me off when she compared my husband to hers particularly since I have been so available to her at the expense of my own relationship. I've learned from the comments that there are ways to be there for your friend without draining yourself. I also agree that during difficult times one can become s
4 Answers
- 9 years agoFavorite Answer
She needs to see help, and maybe get some more support from her family.
I'm currently in her situation and I feel for her deeply and I know how much it sucks. I don't understand why she is making comments about your family I guess that is just her way of coping.
Try to see it from her point of you and I think being honest with her about her behaviour is important regarding comparing as she might not realise she is doing it.
When you become depressed you become very self absorbed and don't consider how others feel as much as you are too focused on your own issues.
Anyway I hope this helps. good luck
- alialoggiLv 79 years ago
I can see exactly what has happened. You complained a lot to her and now that things are better for you, but she doesn't see it because you complained to her. Just explain that things are better for you. You have to be a better friend though and actually, telling her that its family time is like rubbing salt in a wound. Why didn't you tell her that you'd call her later, that you are cooking dinner? You seem really pissed off at her and you are pissed off at her because of her comment. She made this comment because of your prior complaints, so you shouldn't be angry with her because of it, you should just clarify with her that things are ok in your marriage at the moment. Remind yourself that she was there when you needed a friend and you should be there for her as well. You don't have to answer every call, you know.
- LIPPIELv 79 years ago
When she calls talk for a certain amount of time, then say Hey I have to go, Call you later. Don't wait. just hang up the phone, enough times of this and she will stop calling.
- baby♥Lv 49 years ago
That must be annoying as fck. screen her calls, text her only, but, only 1-2 times a day.
