Your thoughts on a very painful breakup?

Short, but very passionate relationship. Very traumatic...he had major issues. Self esteem, abandonment. He went from planning our future, to being very difficult. I felt I was manipulated a lot. Then in a fit of tears he broke up with me..then proceeded to cry on my shoulder telling me he loved me forever and maybe one day we could be together. I feel that was all very 'in the moment' ..but in my head it strung me a long for a month. I didnt hear from him, then we met..and he just looked a mess. He'd quit his job, and seemed like he had totally sunken into himself. We kissed and he looked at me with love...but later proceeded to tell me he wasnt sure if he loved me..and was confused about everything. During this month I was very hurt. Feeling disgarded. He did not seek me out, and his responses were very brief, and polite. I went from talking to this person all day everyday to the cold nothingness. The other day I see on his moms fb..he's moved back home (he's 26 btw!)

I wrote him an email asking if this was true. And saying I had hoped to see him to say goodbye for closure. He wrote back a very 'polite' email...saying we did not agree and he didn't feel closure was necissary/or even know what that was. But he felt meeting was a very bad idea. He said he was sorry he didn't tell me he was leaving, but he didn't want anyone to influence the decision (he's very indecisive)...which I wouldn't have. I think what he meant was- he didn't want to see/hear the pain it would cause. After seeing this email I felt immediately sick and threw up. I've been having migraines since. I'm very sad, very confused, and so hurt.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this. I feel like he just threw me away. I don't trust my feelings at all. Now I'm not sure of anything. My feelings for him were the strongest I'd ever felt..but now I'm wondering if what I loved was real. Either way, it hurts all the same. He exited my life, and his here in NEW YORK very quick. And I know I will never see him again. He's so distant and messed up, that he won't give me the answers....not that he even knows them.

It's very hard. I just don't know what to do.