Is my boyfriend controlling? 10 points?

Question

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. We've been through a lot together, which I thought made us stronger. 
Recently, I've seriously been questioning whether my boyfriend is controlling or not. All of my friends tell me he is... but they have a biased opinion. I wanted to ask you guys (unbiased) what you think. 
Below, I've written a list of things he does. 

1.) He doesn't like me going out with my friends. He wont let me use the car if I want to see my friend of 14 years. He says he doesn't want to "waste gas". But he will drive to another city on weekends, to see his friends. 

2.) He throws a tantrum over little things. This morning, I woke up, at I wasn't even awake for 15 MINUTES, before he got mad at me for not going out to get cigarettes for us. I have work later today, and I just wanted to relax. 

3.) He owns everything we have in our apartment. This computer I'm typing on? He bought it. My phone? His. TV? His. Literally everything I have, he bought. I thought at first that this was him being sweet... but now he holds it over my head. 

4.) Out of the 2 of us, I'm the only one with a job. He has a savings account, with quite a bit of money and doesn't need to work. I only get a $200 paycheck a month, and I'm trying to help out with the bills. But he insists I work harder to get what we need. (This is one of our biggest problems, because I'm the only one with a job. I feel he doesn't have the right to tell me to 'work harder', when I'm the only one working. I've left school to continue working, while he's still in College. )

5.) He says HORRIBLE things to me when we get in fights. He tells me that I'm acting like a child for crying, that I'm a b****, that he doesn't feel loved, etc. Even last night, I spent 45 minutes in front of the stove, cooking his dinner. I made sure he ate first, because he was really hungry. I also baked him a cake afterwords. My dinner, was a microwavable dish of mac-n-cheese, that took 4 minutes to make. I don't understand how he can say that I don't love him, when I pour my heart and soul into making him happy. 

6.) He constantly reminds me that he can leave whenever he wants. 

7.) He's broken up with my once, after cheating on me, and I forgave him. But he acts like he'll do it again. 

8.) He complains that I'm "always mad", when I feel like I just can't talk to him without consequences. 

9.) He hardly pays attention to me, but demands my full attention. 

10. ) He makes things vague. If I need to drive to work, he'll tell me that he's taking the car to see friends, and might not be back in time to get me to work. 


I hope you guys will have some answers for me. 
I appreciate your time, and want to thank you in advance.

Ce&#39;aira Rogers · Answer

You know what, I saw this question and just have to answer because I'm in pretty much the same situation just a little different. First of all, after being together for two years honestly the things that he does, any guy will do after that amount of time, and living together. That's just how it is. You guys are just at that breaking point, after being through so much ****, this is what it boils down too. This is how you guys treat eachother. Sure, you will have your good times, but it really isn't worth the daily fighting and bitching. My relationship that i'm currently in is very toxic, and I see so many similarities its crazy. I know that I can get out whenever, it's just so hard. Love SUCKS. What your boyfriend says to you, mine says the SAME ****. Two days ago in an argument, he told me that he's no longer in love or attracted to me. When I'm crying and I try to call my mother, he calls me a little *** girl running to her mommy... I dont think its love when they treat us like this. I think the love is gone, and we deserve better. If you keep falling for guys that dont give a **** about you, then you will end up with a guy that doesnt give a **** about you. He's not controlling, he just sounds like hes mentally breaking you down and you know this. Good luck though girl just know your not alone, im out here going through the same thing!

Britty · Answer

He is very controlling and manipulative. The fact he calls you names during fights and says horrible things to you means he can potentially be verbally and emotionally abusive. I think it took you this long to realize that he might be controlling instead of what you initially thought was because you were subconsciously in denial and didn't "see" it. But the fact you admit there is a problem now shows that you don't want this type of life. I think you're better off without him. He sounds like a jerk. He even cheated on you which shows he doesn't really respect you. You need to get out of here before it gets worse. There is always the potentiality of it getting worse in a relationship like this. I was in an abusive relationship once before and I know how hard and scary it is to try and figure out a way out. If you need to talk feel free to send me a message.

Jessica · Answer

yes that's way past the point of being controlling!!! a relationship is a partnership of two people working to together and helping each other and lifting each other up not on bringing the other down. chances are he wont change bc he doesn't  see he is doing anything wrong and never will. you should walk away and get your life back its past the point of working it out. i know you will be scared bc you feel like you will have nothing and it will be scary and hard to be on your own after that but can  you imagine living your life that way?! everyday of you life you have to wake up to him telling you what to do?! that sound miserable to me!!! you can do so much better you may not think that but you can and you deserve better!! situations like this only get worse. he doesn't put  you first so stop putting him first do what you have to do for you that makes you happy!!! and if he isn't ok with that then he doesn't Truly love you!!!

Anonymous · Answer

I am a guy. 
i feel so sorry for u, i can understand how heart broken and dead alive u r now with all his behaviour. if u have many guy frens or the fren which u go to see r guys then he is jealous and i can understand that matter vry well.. but the rest of his behaviour r not normal..i m sorry but he IS being 100% Controlling. I wudnt treat my gf like that, n m pretty sure that many guys wudnt behave like that, i mean comon the behaviour he is showtin towards u is completly bull.
My suggestion?-- i think u sud start thinkin of yorself now and b strong n b prepared for anythin that might soon com, with anythin i mean evrythin untill the breakup..u hav fallen for him, but now its time to rise up and start buildin yor own better path for yorself, with him or without him.  
B PREPARED PLEASE.
Preparation can only take u so far...!

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Is my boyfriend controlling? 10 points?

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