Has getting married been a big mistake?

Wow, i think gardening is not your thing.

I don't know what the basis of your relationship is but taking this out on your wife and childhood friend sucks.

I am sure at 28 you were starting to think the band was becoming more of a hobby than a viable career choice, and now your decision to move on with your life has you strung out. I am surprised you are not bored of all that music scene by 28.

You have fond memories. Great. Don't let them screw up a good thing. In 12 years you'll be 40 and you will probably see the whole scene in a very different light.

Are you telling us that, if you were single, you'd never mow a lawn? Perhaps you have a lawn allergy?

This woman who has known you for decades would not have married a musician if she didn't like music. How about you still gig with the band occasionally if the band ever gigs. If what you and your band buddies do is stay up all night partying and jamming and never gig... yeah, haven't you sorta, "been there, done that" enough for awhile? I'm not clear on why getting married means you never jam or gig again. You left that out.

If you want a good marriage... then, yes, you need to make room for a good marriage in your life. A lousy marriage isn't worth it but whether you have a good one or a bad one is about 80% up to you. Your marriage isn't a cookie cutter "Donna Reed" show. It is what you and your wife make it together.

Apparently you must have felt at some point that being married to her was superior to what you had without being married to her. Now all of a sudden you want to be free to do as you please again? That is a rather immature angle isn't it?

I would suggest that you sit down with her and see if the two of you can come to some kind of agreement that would allow you to work with the band part time or arrange to take her along on the gigs so she can be a partner in what you want to do.

This poor girl is in for a shock and an unfair one at that. Really to bad.

Seriously? You're upset because it's TIME TO GROW UP?

Maybe you're right then. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe you need to keep doing the band and club scene and spend the rest of your life pursuing emptiness.

YES, marriage means you're going to do things that ADULTS DO. And you've committed to sacrficiing certain things in your love for the benefit of LOVE and a real RELATIONSHIP.

It sounds like you had a REAL moment with her, a realization that, yes, you've moved on to a new chapter in your life, but instead of looking forward with anticipation at what new experiences you are going to have together, you want to cling to the fantasy of your care-free younger life.

This is why I married a MAN who was somewhat older than me, because guys my age want to cling to their childhood. (Half of them still live at home with mommy and daddy for godssake.)

Mowing the lawn is such a puny sacrifice to make for her happiness. Look, she want planting things. That means she is embracing the future and working hard to make it work.

You seriously need to grow up.

Sorry to be so harsh, but what IS it with "men" today??? You just hit a nerve. And you make me want to hug my husband even more.

No, I think SHE made a big mistake in marrying you. You're 28.. not 18, grow up. We all have to at some point.