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How to handle a jealous mother? When to let the relationship go due to mental turmoil causing grown daughter?

I find myself at a crossroad in my life. My mothers jealousy started about 10 years ago. She made a horrible lies about me and spread it throughout my family and her church. She went through years of constantly putting me down in public. About three years ago it stopped. Now the same ugly behavor has started all over again. I suffer from major deppressive disorder although I have kept a very good handle on this due to my life style change. I am now feeling that I can longer go through this with her. It sickens me to the point of horrible depression. She is jealous of my looks only. She resents getting older and losing her looks. I want to back away from her now all completely. Is there a time that that no other choice can be made?

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  • 8 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Often we find that it's healthier to back away for a toxic relative. It is possible to love someone from a distance. To continue to put up with their abuse is not proff that you love them.

    And if you don't put some distance between you, you may find that it affects your relationship anyway.

    Your mother has probably shown in the past that reason will not work with her. So don't think you can change her by trying to talk reason or logic to her. She is what she is. Now respect yourself enough to know that she is toxic for you, and that she will bad-mouth you whether you maintain your relationship with her or not.

    That's not to say that there isn't feelings of grief or loss, but that it's better than staying and being destroyed little by little.

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