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I'm feeling exhausted.Can't even walk or smile.What to do?
Hi everyone,
My parents been unemployed for 4 years now with no benefits.Everything's drained and they enrolled me in a med school as I got a scholarship. They've lost the ability to earn any longer because of grave diseases and are in a limbo.My father says that he's gonna die real soon and doesn't care about what happens to me.I couldn't work because my parents forced me to take up MBBS as it's prestigious to them and I don't have any capital or contacts to come out of college as it also carries a $6000 indemnity. I've been humiliated very much and am now on the verge of destitution.I'm trying to be brave,watching motivational videos to somehow grit my teeth and drag through,but lately(for about a year),I have lost my will.I don't do it consciously.I just lost it.I can't get it back no matter what.I can't even cry.I have lost the desire to conform to even basic social etiquette.I dress haphazardly.I'm weird with all people.I don't see the point in making an effort because four years of my efforts have gone down the drain and the situation is hopeless.All I pray for is to just stop existing.It's very painful to go out and talk with anyone.I can't smile no matter how hard I force myself.I am feeling exhausted all the time.I can't even walk with a normal gait.I am sighing most of the time.I can't even think coherently.I even stammer when I speak.I know that it is the hopelessness that I'm confronted with.I want to find a way out.Something at the least to fake my emotions.
1 Answer
- jannsodyLv 77 years agoFavorite Answer
I'm sorry that you're having such difficulty, and you're in so much pain. Bless you for even having gotten a scholarship! Please continue reaching out for help. There are resources and helplines for those who need someone to listen and to provide some community referrals for outside professional help.
With regard to your parents who are too ill or disabled to work, one or both of them may qualify for (social security) "disability" income. The process can take some time, but for those who are unable to work at *any* type of job, regardless of how sedentary (mostly sitting) the job tasks are, he/she may qualify for monthly "disability" payments.
For those who are applying for "permanent disability" (payments), in the meanwhile, he/she *may* be able to obtain welfare ("public/government assistance"). However, those payments may be even smaller than "disability" payments. At least, it's "something", though :)
For those who are feeling suicidal, here is a toll-free 24/7 helpline to call:
1-800-273-TALK (8255).
You'd mentioned that you're currently in medical school, and that's supposed to be one of *the* most stressful of college curriculums. It's understandable that you would be overwhelmed with schooling and your parents' situation. Please, however, talk with a licensed therapist to help sort out your life and worries.
You may be able to take a "medical leave" (of absence) from school until getting your feelings of depression more under control, too. The student would need medical documentation, such as from a licensed physician or licensed therapist.
To search for some local counseling agencies: http://findtreatment.samhsa.gov/ and can click the second link.
Their toll-free 24/7 *referral* hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
