Groomsmen Dinner Guests?

You're not obligated to pay for one single thing. If someone asks you for something that you don't agree with, just smile and say, "Sorry but I can't do that." And then change the topic or walk away.

"She is already has my son only seeing me once a month at most, while she sees her family members multiple times per week."

Unless she has a literal loaded gun to your son's head, she's not forcing him to do one single thing here. If he chooses not to come and see you, then that's HIS choice. Even if she's nagging in his ear about it. He is 100% free to ignore her, tell her to STFU, or break up with her. But HE has chosen to go along with what she wants and not see you. So if you're looking for someone to be mad at, it's not her ... don't blame her, blame your son.

Did you agree to give a rehearsal dinner for as many guests as your future daughter-in-law would like to invite? If not, or even if you did, talk to your son, the groom, and tell him that you are not able to give a dinner for 52 people. If the bride's parents or the bride and groom are able to make half the food, or pay for half the food, or whatever, you'll still be responsible for part of the responsibility. If I were you, I would not be confrontational. I would not say that he is only seeing you once a month or that you have been left out of the planning. Keep it to "I cannot prepare and pay for a dinner for 52 people. How can we figure out what to do about this?"

I have never heard of a Groomsmen Dinner. Talk to your son (in person and alone if possibly), make sure when you do to not badmouth the bride. Just tell him that you simply can't afford to feed this many people, that you wish you could because it's a special event for the wedding but you just can not afford it. If all goes well then finish with "I know you've been really busy with the wedding the last few months, when it's all done maybe we can organise to have a weekly/fortnightly dinner all together? It would be nice to have a bit more family time and i would like to get to know Bride a bit better too" and just leave it at that. Tell him you love him and that you're looking forward to seeing him get married.

If it goes badly then.. I don't know. Give the bride and groom (together) a menu with things like curry, pasta, rice based dishes and say that's all you can afford for that many people. If it doesn't satisfy them then simply say "well for 52 people that's all I can afford, sorry but that's the facts. If you want something more then someone will have to pitch in"

Don't be ashamed of your financial situation, most people wouldn't be able to afford to feed that many people.

By tradition grooms family pays for rehearsal dinner, which I am assuming that is what this is. You do not have to pay anything as you are helping with the wedding reception which is her or her parents responsibility. 52 is an outrageous number for a rehearsal dinner. Have a talk with your son and get this clarified. Go ahead and ask him because sooner or later if she continues her behavior, you will have to.

The bride and groom should feel honored if parents pay for anything. The grooms family would traditionally pay for the rehearsal dinner . . . but where did she come up with the fact that you pay for a groomsmen's dinner, no less for 52 people??

If you go to the library and get a book on wedding etiquette; I doubt you will find much on groomsmen dinner. There are rehearsal dinners which the groom or his family takes care of , but I havent heard of groomsmen dinner.

I read your entire sob story twice, and couldn't find a question anywhere. If you are looking for sympathy, you won't get it from me.

This: "She is already has my son only seeing me once a month at most" doesn't help your case either. Learn to be a grownup and tell your son that you'd like to seem him more. If he doesn't see you, that's his decision, not hers. If you pay for a "groomsmen dinner" (I have no idea what that is) that you can't afford, that is your decision. If your future daughter-in-law is holding your son hostage (or your wallet hostage) at gunpoint, then you need to get in contact with the police, not a website. All of this is the result of your having no backbone.

My son married an American, and we went for the wedding and then were informed that it's traditional for the groom's parents to pay for a rehearsal dinner....I just told them that in the UK we just don't need to rehearse a wedding or pay for a night out for them all so,we didn't

I also have never heard of a groom's man dinner...is this their version of a bride's maid's luncheon only just for the groom & his groom's men? If so, YOU are under no obligation to pay for it as a bride's luncheon is usually hosted (paid for) by the bride, if this is the case, then it's on the groom's dime. It's also an OPTIONAL gathering.

If it's in lieu if a batchelor party, then it's up to the groom's men to host that for the groom. If this is a Groom's 'shower', then you are not the person to host it either.

If this is a rehearsal dinner...then traditionally it's up to you BUT you determine how elaborate...or casual. AND, if you can't afford it, you can't.

Determine exactly what this is...then respond accordingly.

Put your foot down, and tell her until she starts treating you with the respect, you aren't doing anything for her. And what the HECK is a "Groomsmen Dinner" and why are there 52 people? It sounds like a bridal shower for a man.