Is it OK for a woman to date a younger man?

Question

I got a note from my daughter’s high school that she was failing in math and they recommended a tutor.  Tutors are very expensive in my area and being a single mother I did not have much money to spend on tutors.  I knew a family friend Bob who could tutor her and I hoped he would be cheaper that the tutors the school gave me.  I called Bob, a 26 year old single guy, and told him my problem and asked for his help. He said he would be happy to tutor my daughter for FREE and he did.  My daughter raised her grade for F to A in math.

Since Bob would not take any money for his tutoring my daughter and I  decided to take him to an expensive restaurant for a meal as a way to say thank you. We had a great meal, great conversation and a lot of fun at the restaurant.  Jokingly my daughter asked Bob if he had ever been on a date with 2 women at once.  Bob said you mean 2 BEAUTIFUL women at once. We all had a good laugh.

My friends that I told about this said I should not have been on a date with a guy 10 years younger than I am. It made me look like a cougar.  I tried to point out to them that if it was a date why did I take my daughter with me.  They said it was still a date and I was acting like a cougar.

I told my friends there is noting wrong with a woman going on a date with a much younger guy. They are not buying it.  Please tell me what you think. Is it OK for a woman to date a much younger guy?

And was Bob hitting on me, my daughter, or both of us?

Anonymous · Answer

Your old move on nobody wants a saggy
He probably was hitting on your daughter dont get ur hopes up

Caroline · Answer

Your friends sound just lovely. Accepting and tolerant and kind. If they weren't with you then they should stfu and be glad that your daughter's grade improved and that you were able to help without significant cash outlay. 
My husband is younger than I am by almost two years and I initiated the contact. If that makes me a cougar then MEeeeooowwwww. LOL.

Sue B · Answer

Personally I wouldn't take that one comment to mean he was hitting on either of you.  You are the person best placed to tell if he was acting towards you in a way which indicated he really considered it a date.  It sounds like he was being friendly and complimentary, in appreciation of the nice meal he was given.  It wasn't a date because you didn't ask him on a date - you asked him to join the two of you for dinner in appreciation for his help with your daughter's grades.

As far as a 36 year old dating a 26 year old guy - nothing wrong with it, in general.  As he's your daughter's tutor, I wouldn't recommend pursuing it.  If he's not into you, your daughter will probably lose her tutor, and if he is, and keeps tutoring her, it may get a little weird for her, plus you'll start wondering if the time they spend together will draw them closer together, and there is nothing worse than rivalry between mother and daughter.

Think very hard before making any approach to this guy.  Also consider in what context he is a family friend.  Will any potential relationship cause dramas? If you're really interested, be friendly but not too flirty and see how he responds.  Maybe you could tell him your friends said your dinner counted as a date - with you - and say, 'what do you think?' It may give you some indicator of his interest, or lack of.  The last thing you need is to look like a fool in front of this guy, especially if you need his continued services as a tutor.  And remember, if you start taking extra care with your appearance before his arrival, your daughter is going to notice too.

Rethran · Answer

I don't think Bob was hitting on you from what you said. You didn't reference any of the conversation with your daughter so I wouldn't be able to tell with that. There's nothing wrong with an older woman dating a younger guy, just as there is nothing wrong with an older man dating a younger woman. It also didn't sound like a date either. It actually sounds like your friend was either jealous (for what reason I dont know) or is a bit 'proper'.

Nicole · Answer

You are both above the age of 18, you can do whatever you want.

You don't mention you daughters age... I started dating a guy who was 24 when I was 16- all under my mothers nose because he was a coworker of hers and they were friends.

I don't know what's going on- but I'd consider finding your daughter a new tutor.

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Is it OK for a woman to date a younger man?

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