Could I get in trouble for doing this at work?

Question

At the place I work they have a day care facility.  One of my fellow employees and a good friend ask me if she could use my conference room to nurse her son as she did not feel comfortable nursing him in the day care facility.  I told her sure, as long as it was not being used.

One day after nursing her son, she ask me what I thought of her boobs.  I told her I could not discuss her boobs at work. I was afraid I would get in trouble for sexual harassment. She said her husband told her they were too small and she wanted a mans opinion about her boobs. She said if you can not talk about them at work, lets have lunch and then we can talk about their size.

I declined her invitation to have lunch and talk about her boobs.  I suggested she and her husband might benefit from counseling on that subject.

I am NEVER going to talk to any of my fellow employees about their boobs either at work or not at work.  Should I have told her that and is that a good policy even if she is my friend?

Amanda · Answer

Yes you absolutely did the right thing.  Now you should make sure that you are never in a position of being completely alone with this woman.

It is absolutely ridiculous that she would claim she was more comfortable breast feeding in a board room with a co-worker than in an environment intended for children.  That was her weak effort to get you isolated so she could put the moves on you ... pretty pathetic moves to use your baby like that but whatever ... then to follow that with wanting to discuss the size of her boobs ... please.

Your response to her was great, if she starts up again you are going to need to trash the friendship in order to make sure that you are protected against any false accusations.  You should make a note of the date/time/location of the incident with specific details, if she tries to do it again then you need to go to a supervisor and report her.

A woman scorned is not usually a very pretty thing and you do not want to end up in a he/said she/said scenario with this woman making false accusations because you refused her advances.

You should also discuss the situation with another person you trust so that there is a record of you having talked about it ... better safe than sorry, you'd be amazed at what spin a manipulative person can put onto an innocent interaction.

Linds · Answer

I think you handled the situation and yourself very well. She obviously was looking for a compliment and maybe more because she wasn't getting it at home. 

She should never have put you in that position in the first place, and you were right for trying to drop it and move on. I realize she is also a friend but if you wanted to cover yourself just in case (you never know) say something either to HR, someone you can trust, your boss etc. 

I know you don't want to get her in trouble, but you also need to protect yourself. You can also keep a written documentation of dates and times and what was said-like the above, just in case as well

? · Answer

Yeah, telling her you will never discuss this with her is a good idea. It seems to me she wants to be more than friends. Her pride is probably hurt at being turned down. Be careful. Keep your distance.

Skye · Answer

I think you did the right thing. There was no way to win that conversation either. Personal things like that are definitely best left out of the workplace.

Trending News

Could I get in trouble for doing this at work?

4 Answers