Is it possible for formula using and breastfeeding moms to discuss certain aspects of formula use without fighting?

Unfortunately the "mommy wars" are quite alive and well in many circles, with arguments over everything from feeding to diapering to what sort of stroller you use. It is difficult for many moms when they perceive anything they see as a criticism of their choices, because we are so intent on getting our mothering right. Breast versus formula is one of the more emotional issues it seems. If you are in a group that has a lot of mud-flinging, then you might seek out other, more supportive forums where people can discuss thoughtfully and disagree respectfully.

Wouldn't it be nice. I stopped breastfeeding When baby was 7 months. I regretted it for a few months.after I was dried up. Hopefully I can go 10 months this next time. I hate when people say there formula feeding and others question it so much.

What bugs me about this is people think all mums have a choice in the matter when some of us don't. I really wanted to breastfeed my babies and tried everything I could to do so, but sometimes there's not enough milk supply to feed them because your body doesn't work like it's supposed to, and in other cases your baby just will not feed from you for their own particular reason. It's not always something we can control and in the end it's either starve your baby or give them formula. The second option is what I chose!

Probably not. Because we live a society where people take pride and happiness from judging others, regardless of knowing their situation. They also take happiness from telling others that they aren't as "perfect" as they believe they are themselves. I am a supporter of breastfeeding and I think that it's an excellent thing for your child, however it's not my place to say that formula feeding makes you a bad mother or is in any way, shape, or form, inferior to breastfeeding. I think that formula is a wonderful thing that has likely saved many babies' lives and without it many more kids today would perish. I do not think it is acceptable to sit there and say, "Breast is best and formula is horrible" because it is implying that those who do not nurse are in essence not doing the best thing for their child.

Every mother does not HAVE to nurse. It is not a requirement. Nor should it be. Women are feeling more and more pressure to nurse these days than ever before which often results in them feeling immense guilt when they fail or it doesn't come as easily to them as they'd hoped it would so they quit. Instead of simply pushing nursing, pro-breastfeeding advocates need to emphasize what its REALLY like: it hurts at first, it is a learned skill that takes time to master, and it is not exactly a simple experience. Instead they push this idea that nursing is simple and easy and "perfect", which is obviously false. So instead of guilting women into formula feeding and shaming mothers for nursing as doctors had done for decades in the past, we are now doing the opposite in guilting women into nursing and shaming mothers for formula feeding.

How about we spend less time worrying about how the kid is fed and more time worrying about how you raise your child as a whole? In the grand scheme of things, the way you feed your infant/toddler won't matter when your child is 18 years old. If the worst thing you do to your child in the 18 years you are responsible for him/her is feed formula then I'd say you did alright. I don't believe any of those studies out saying breast fed babies are healthier/smarter/whatever at an older age because there is a LOT more that goes into a child's success than what he/she eats as an infant/toddler. Genetics have a bigger role in things than you think.

We used to be able to have lively conversations representing two sides of an argument. But lately - all that "diversity and tolerance" has taught us that only one side is correct. We have lost the ability to accept two opposing viewpoints.

I would go for it.

As for formula use in developing countries, that's a sad story. My son was over in Afghanistan. A leading cause of infant malnutrition and death is formula use. He said he say babies with bloated bellies like you see in Africa. The husband discourages breast feeding (he cannot have sex with his wife while she is nursing). So mom gets formula. But they do not have the money for formula. The husband and boys get the food. Then the mom. And the baby last. If there is no money for formula, the baby is fed watered down leftovers. My son was so appalled at the sheer ignorance in that society. The flood in the Philippines also left starving babies due to lack of safe water or formula.

""You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."" -- Winston Churchill

Not on the internet lol there are extremists on both sides of the fence and they all have access to the World Wide Web, however I often have good convos with mummies who breastfeed I respect them and they respect that I use formula we all recognise we love each other the same and have the same saying "fed is best" and these are the type of people I'm happy to have in my life internet feeding extremists will never know the friendships and relationships they could be having by not judging

Honestly, probably not.

I don't have particular emotions about the subject, but many people do. Mommy wars have been going on about this subject for a long time. Back in the day when our now 22 year old daughter was a toddler, I belong to the Usenet group misc.kids. The battle was raging then already. Now have those kids probably have kids of their own, lol!

Of course. I'm very sure you note that on this page many of us are able to answer questions/discuss baby feeding topics without fighting. (For example -- I breastfed. Suzy Q formula feeds. We both provide good, respectful advice on the other feeding method.)

Why are you friends with people on FB who cannot have respectful discussions or polite disagreement?

I wish. Being a mommy is a competition nowadays lol. I would share it anyway, if you wade through the overly defensive formula feeders and stuck up breast feeders you find some genuine people on both ends with good insight.

The fact is, most formula feeding moms feels they have failed in some way. They might not tell you this, but most do. Therefore, there are feelings of hurt that exist which makes them very defensive. At the end of the day, women who formula feed (the vast majority) have made the decision to choose the 2nd best.

I breastfed for 12 months and formula fed for an additional 6 months (she wasn't eating enough table foods and small), I never feel the need to have formula privilege. I always support breastfeeding mothers but realize some mother choose not to. The WHO has really making strides increasing the number of breastfeeding mothers around the world, and I think that is pretty great.

Breastfeeders fight for it because it such an amazing thing. For example, for a premature baby, use of breastmilk or formula can mean life or death. They have less allergies, less asthma, less colds, less flus, and the list goes on. It think it is really get to promote it.

But yes, you could start a mom war. Like I said, people get very defensive.