How do I deal with this failure?

Question

I am appearing for actuarial examinations from the Institute of Actuaries, India. I gave my first attempt ever in May, 2015. The results came in yesterday. I failed miserably. I got an FD which is literally code for buzz off. 
I feel terrible. I studied a lot for this exam. I really really want to be an actuary. I feel like committing suicide. But my dream of being an actuary wouldn't be complete if I am not alive. 
I don't know how to deal with this. If I tell my parents they'll be super disappointed in me. And my grandmother would insist on me getting married. I'm only 21. I have dreams. Please please help me! Tell me what to do! This is so crushing...

AV · Answer

Hey there. I guess we are in the same boat. Even I'm studying to be an actuary and am giving IAI exams. And even I failed miserably. FD! I gave CT3. I worked really hard and I totally understand why you'd think of suicide. But just like you, I cannot achieve my dreams if I'm dead.
So, you can't lose hope. Practice makes man perfect. Besides it's just a teeny tiny failure. Just an exam. Think of it as a minor setback. So you've fallen. Well get up and give the exam again!
Have you joined any coaching classes? If you haven't you should. They really help. 
Also, if we are in the same city, I could be your study partner. That is of course if we are studying the same subject. Hehe.
Don't worry. It's gonna happen. Be positive.
Are you giving any exams this diet? I'm giving CT1 and am looking for a study partner. But if that's not applicable, we can still be in touch and be each other's motivation.
You can contact me on aditi.vaidya.1993@gmail.com
It never hurts to have a pen friend either. ☺

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How do I deal with this failure?

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