Communication gets us nowhere...help!?

Question

I am in a troubled marriage. At the very least, we need to be able to communicate, whether we're making it work or calling it quits. I've found that it's lasted as long as it has because we have these great conversations where we figure out the problem, it can be quite agonizing but in the end we work on solutions together and we agree and I walk away feeling there has been closure. And then, despite agreeing and being on the same page, my husband does whatever he wants. I do the work but nothing ever improves. It's exhausting and frustrating and hurtful and I don't know what to do.

??? · Accepted Answer

You know how women feel better after a long talk? Men feel worse. Those are general statements, but in general they are the truth. Because of this, men often agree to things just to get out of a conversation. The next time you want to talk, make it short and to the point. "I wish you would have X because when you Y I feel Z." Then move on. Don't stay mad. Don't hold grudges. Don't beg! Don't complain. Don't criticize. Don't TALK. Get busy with something else, and leave him alone with his thoughts (which he may process by playing video games, listening to music, sleeping, working out, etc).

Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

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Anonymous · Answer

Tell him how you feel. The problem is probably being caused by not telling each other how you feel x

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Communication gets us nowhere...help!?

4 Answers