I will never have sex with my husband again, wouldn't that be the end of it?

It sounds like you already have the answer. If your marriage was built on a foundation of sex and sex alone, then yes, that's the end of it. And if your marriage was built on a foundation of love and trust and good health, well then it seems that he's managed to ruin that as well. You are too smart and too worthy of better to put yourself through another couple of years of worry, anguish, and risk. And I know it's easier said than done to move on from something that you've devoted so much time and energy into, but sometimes we need to just trust ourselves in order to really live a fulfilling life. Best of luck.

EDIT: you don't sound stupid at all! you're just trying to look at the big picture and weigh all of your options, that's extremely smart. I think you have the right idea, while divorce seems like the best option, that may be for down the road. In the meantime, it might just be good to focus on being happy as an individual (as best you can while living and being married to someone) by finding time to do the things you love. Once you start to mentally separate from him, the actual physical act will be one big relief. It's tough, especially when dealing with medical complications and finances, but you can do it!!

The issue is, since you say you aren't in a position to leave, he probably will at some point. If you cease sex and decide to just live with him as a roommate, because you can't support yourself, chances are fairly high it won't be long before he tires of the situation and leaves or that he hooks up with someone else, who will strongly encourage him to leave the wife who won't have sex with him.

I don't blame you for ceasing sexual activity with a cheater, but if that's how you feel, you need to do whatever you can to prepare to leave the marriage. If you are financially dependent on him, it's likely you'd be awarded spousal support. Get legal advice and find out your rights. You may be able to make it after a divorce, and you'd certainly be a happier person out of that marriage.

I dont know what you want advice about? You did ask, if "that would be the end of it if you never have sex with your husband again."... the end of what? Your marriage?

If that's the question, the answer is up to you and your husband to decide.

I wish you well. And if you're depressed and fragile, perhaps it's time to consider speaking to a therapist on a regular basis for a while. Therapy is great when we work it.

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Ok, so you've decided to never have sex with him again, and that is certainly your right. You don't want to divorce him (at least right now) because you are financially dependent on him. He's convinced he's going to somehow win you back, but what happens when he realizes that it will never happen? Have you told him flat out that you will never be intimate with him again, at least not sexually, because of his sexual misbehavior? Even if you don't decide to divorce him, I think chances are very good that he will divorce you once he realizes that you won't ever be sexual with him again. So what's your plan then?

It surprises me that any woman would stay with a man who is obviously a serial cheater and who has given her cause to believe he may have/or will give her several stds. Your husband doesn't care who he has sex with and doesn't care, apparently, that you know of his infidelities. And he thinks so little of you and is so sure of his control over you that he feels mere words will win you over. You deserve better than to let him degrade you. He has made a farce of your marriage. You have said you will never have sex with him again and since trust and sex are vital in a marriage, the best thing you can do for yourself is divorce this POS. I personally believe your husband has been with prostitutes and street whores in addition to online hookups. This man can never get clean in body or mind. His dirt is bone deep. And don't ever think you will be alone for long.. There are always good decent men looking for decent women to love and care for. When and/or if you start to wonder if you are too old, too fat, too short, too tall, whatever. It doesn't matter! You will meet someone and you will be happy. You have only one life. How do you want to live it? Will you be happy if you stay with him? You know the answer and you also know what you need to do to be happy.

If you get a divorce, THAT will be the end of it.

If your marriage is already over, I don't see any reason to stay married.

EDIT: You can be divorced from him, and still financially dependent on him. That's actually quite common. He won't like it, but so what?

Being financially dependent is only an excuse. There's this thing called alimony ... Also, it's not unrealistic to think that being in an unhappy marriage might actually HINDER your recovery.

Honestly just divorce him on the spot separation isn't enough because you are still legally married and move onto a better future husband.