Should I leave my jobless/low ambition wife?

I’m sorry about your situation. I can’t imagine how frustrating and difficult it may be sometimes. As the others on here have sugguested you may have to set some time aside with your wife to discuss the matter.

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “There is . . . a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) Make sure that you spend time talking about the problem. Honestly let your wife know how you feel and what you think on the subject. Always “speak truth” with your wife. (Ephesians 4:25) Even when strong emotions are involved, resist the urge to fight. A calm answer can keep what should be a simple discussion from escalating into a battle.—Proverbs 15:4; 26:20.

Even if you disagree, remain gracious, never forgetting to show love and respect to your mate. (Colossians 4:6) Try to resolve the issue as soon as possible, and do not stop communicating.—Ephesians 4:26.

Marriage mates discuss a problem together. Set an appropriate time to discuss the problem.

When it is your turn to listen, resist the urge to interrupt. You will get your turn to speak

Try to listen and to understand (this goes for the both of you).

“Have tender affection for one another. In showing honor to one another, take the lead.” (Romans 12:10) How you listen is very important. Try to understand your mate’s point of view with “fellow feeling . . . and humility.” (1 Peter 3:8; James 1:19) Do not just pretend to listen. When possible, put aside what you are doing and give your mate your full attention, or ask if you can discuss this later. If you think of your marriage mate as your teammate rather than your opponent, you will “not be quick to take offense.”—Ecclesiastes 7:9.

Keep listening with an open mind, even if what you are hearing displeases you

Listen for the message behind the words. Notice your mate’s body language and tone of voice

FOLLOW THROUGH

“There is benefit in every kind of hard work, but mere talk leads to want.” (Proverbs 14:23) Agreeing on a good solution is not enough. You need to follow through on what you both decide. This may involve hard work and much effort, but it will be worth it. (Proverbs 10:4) If you work together as a team, you will “have a good reward” for your hard work.—Ecclesiastes 4:9.

Decide what practical steps you will each take to solve your problem

From time to time, evaluate your progress

TACKLE PROBLEMS TOGETHER

By working together, you can ensure that your marriage will be strong and happy rather than weak and miserable. (Proverbs 24:3) Look to the future, and do not bring up past problems. (Proverbs 17:9) When you cooperate with each other and apply Bible principles, you can handle any problem successfully.

ASK YOURSELF . . .

What is the most urgent problem that I want to discuss with my mate?

What can I do to understand how my mate really feels about the problem?

It sounds like she may suffer from depression, is she being treated for that or something else?

What was your situation like before you married, did she work then? If not, getting married wasn't changing that. Some people have a strong work ethic and others don't. If she's one that doesn't, that's something you accepted when you got married.

Is your son in school all day? Or at all. If she works, who is taking care of him? Who is getting him to/from school? For days where school may be called off (like snow days if you're in a snowy state) what is your plan for his care then? Child care is not cheap, depending on her skill set if she got a low paying job, you may be spending more in child care than she will be making. Not all employers work around kids schedules.

I live in a cold weather state where there sometimes is bad snow storms and blizzards. Yesterday we had bad weather and the kids were sent home early and someone had to go pick them up. I'm fortunate that I have a job that let me leave, not everyone has that luxury. Today, due to that same snow storm, they didn't have school. I have a job where I can work from home if I need to and today I took advantage of that. I have a co-worker (in a different position) and she didn't have anyone to go pick her kids up and she also couldn't leave to do so, her kids attend the same school mine does (and know me and my kids) so I picked them up and kept them with me overnight so she didn't have to take a day off work.

If she has not worked outside the home for some time, if you divorced not only would you be paying child support, but paying alimony is also a good possibility because she has no income and has relied on you for her livelihood.

My husband makes great money, I don't have to work if I don't want to but I've always worked outside the home. I make good money myself, but not near what he does (he is a physician). We have several kids, all but one of them is in school all day. The one that isn't goes to daycare and that's $800 a month for just her, when our other kids are there for the summer it's around $2,000 (which is actually cheap for 4 kids).

Over the years, I have been a stay at home parent at times (read extended maternity leaves) and it's not as easy as you think. Especially with an energetic toddler. Usually a 4 year old wants to "help" with all the chores so that chore takes 3 times longer than it should. They make messes (usually right after you cleaned one up). You have to entertain them, play with them, feed.. them all while doing the household chores, running errands and things like that.

If you believe your wife doesn't do anything all day, I suggest you send her away for 2 days and take care of your son all day.

Unfortunately this was my situation just 2 years back.. My husband did everything around the house, (we did have a part time made for cleaning dishes and laundry) but shopping and cooking was his responsibility.. He was a chef, so somehow I thought it would be easier for him to shop groceries and cook.. I never actually realised, how much he resented it.. During early days of marriage, we were madly in love and couldn't get our hands off each other , but eventually it fizzed off..

Seems like she is depressed. You have to talk with her about your struggles and help her meanwhile to get over the depression

Firstly remember you have a child and your answer to this must include what is good for him as well. Maybe a separation for a while to make her realize how much easier life is with you and that if she wants you back she will have to make more effort in life.

I'm sorry to say, she could be a depressant.

I don't think you should leave her for not working. That's abit harsh. You should leave her if you have no love there anymore.

Talk to her, ask her why she doesn't want to work, ask her if she is sad or angry.

She might need some communication. With the sitting at home and not doing "chores". They shouldn't be bloody chores.

She doesn't need to be asked to do things. She is an adult. You have a child, she would be doing stuff all day. Not sitting on the computer.

She would be caring for your son, feeding him, playing with him.. She is probably just relaxing once u get home.

I think you need to MAN up and have a proper conversation to your wife and not act like your in the right here. Maybe she has some issues with anxiety. Or like I said before, depression.

Seriously mate. Don't be a douche

I hate to say this but yes she's probably a cultural Marxist and yes you need a divorce.

I am an old fashioned man so I believe the husband should work outside of the home and her job is to be the homemaker, wich includes wife, Mother and household chores ! So face it they have the harder job !!!

Do you really think your son is better off in social housing with your jobless, low-ambition wife?

I don’t. My wife and I had our low points too, and had days where throwing in the towel seemed like the easy-out. It would have been.

Then I thought of guys coming over just to get into my wife’s pants, and seeing my little kid simply as an obstacle to getting lucky. I don’t know how you feel about that, but I said “no forking way”.

I stuck around through my wife’s depression/mid life crisis despite the bull 💩 and I am glad I did. Kids who have fathers who disappeared on them have infinitely more complicated lives than those who don’t. I stuck around for his sake and in the process sorted things out with my wife. That was nearly ten years ago now. I am glad I did. We worked out our differences and have our marriage back on track.

You don’t sound like you like your wife at the moment. Have a great to heart and tell her you want a better life for your kid.

She has issues that do need to be addressed. If you two can't work things out, with marriage counseling perhaps, then do what is best for you. No point in either of you being stuck in a life you don't want and can't change while you're together.

Is she depressed or is something else going on? You should be asking her about all this rather than asking strangers. Who looks after your child??