My 34 yr. old son is getting divorced. He is living alone, lonely, can hardly afford the rent, and my heart aches for him. I live a state?

Your heart aches for him but he needs to figure out the next chapter of his life. If he's lonely, then he should find things to do so he can get out the door and meet people. As for the rent, he should be able to make it, but if he can't, he should either seek a better paying job, or find a cheaper place. If he is really having a tough time financially, then perhaps you can send him a gift card for food. Or how about one of those prepared meal boxes ( the ones you cook at home) for say a couple of months? They would deliver right to his home. I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

Statistically, a man's disposable income goes up after divorce. The woman and children typically end up living in poverty. I'd be more concerned about my grandchildren. A 34 year old man is capable of taking care of his own life.

You cannot do any of this.

His emotional state depends on whatever emotional skills he has learned over his 34 years. OR whatever he can NOW learn from a therapist.

As for his financial situation, he has to figure out how to remain a self-supporting adult. You can help him out financially, but sometimes this makes the person feel ashamed .. or sometimes they just start depending on your money.

As for being alone, people who ARE psychologically whole and healthy don't MIND being alone. In fact, such people need SOME time by themselves so they can assimilate their experiences without the distraction of someone else around them .. not the same things as being alone, but the healthier someone is, the less being alone bothers them.

If you want to help him, you could offer to pay for his therapy while he learns to resolve the issues facing him.

The MAIN way to help him is now too late ... the parenting he received in his first 10 years of life, where he was supposed to have been gaining inner foundations/skills for a functional adult life.

Care packages are almost always a happy surprise. If you have excess funds for yourself, you could ask him his account number in a bank with branches all over so you can go into a local branch and put money into his account.

Looking at your other questions, did you ever suggest to him that he get legal advice? You mentioned that his wife is "not letting him" see his child, but she doesn't have the power to do this if he's doing the right things. In other words, as the father, he has equal rights to the child. But he has to step up to the plate and get these rights defined by a court. The fact that she has already gone to court is proof she knew what to do, but he didn't.

If money is tight, he can look into low cost or even free legal aid. Another option is you helping him financially with this. But honestly, this should have happened as soon as he realized divorce was on the table. He'll probably feel better once he has legal access to his child.

Another practical piece of advice is suggest he look on craigslist for someone who wants to be a tenant. If he's careful about how he does this (get job and personal references), not only can it help A LOT with finances, but he won't be so lonely. This is a common arrangement in most cities, because it can be hard to find an apt with reasonable rent in many areas.

Tell him to return to your state. And then help him get a job or go to a community college to atleast get an associates degree.

He can find a roommate and get some therapy.