How to become more independent?(see details)?

What your mother does seems to be "infantilization", and it's a common behavior associated with narcissistic personality disorder. The narcissistic parents don't want their children to be independent and grow, so they intentionally handicap them because they need the children to be "inferior" so that they can feel "superior" (that's how narcissism works).

Another typical evidence of narcissist behavior, which coincides with what you say, is that narcissists often do their abusive behavior in a sneaky way so that, if the victim tries to tell other people, the others, not having the context of the situation, will typically say something in the lines of "that's not such big deal", "you only have one mother", etc, minimizing the abuse. That's intentionally done by the narcissist in order to "double the blow", making the victim suffer more self doubt, questioning herself... The more insecure the victim becomes, the easier to manipulate becomes, too, so they can inflict new tortures...

Both my parents and other family members were narcissists, and I reached adulthood without having notions of very important things that I'm having to learn by myself now. Lucky thing you can catch it earlier... Here is a list of the typical traits of narcissists, check it and see if some of them apply. If you think they do, there's a lot of information in YouTube and internet you can check about how to deal with this narcissist stuff...

You might try volunteering or working at a church, etc.

Try reading "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents," "101 Things Every Young Adult Should Know," "For Couples Only," and Mark Prophet's "Understanding Yourself."

Also, simply forgive your mom; she may mean well, and forgiving her helps free you, and doesn't imply that she's not responsible for her behavior.