Where to draw the line with friends of the opposite sex?

Question

This question is not for me, I'm happily married, it was posed to me by a college age young lady.  Where do you draw the line between "you should trust your partner" and "that's just disrespectful"?  She told me her boyfriend has a female friend from high school that she has never met.  Her boyfriend and the girl text every day, and when he is home for breaks (they are from the same city) he meets the girl for lunch or coffee and she goes to his house sometimes to "visit his dog."  He has never once included his girlfriend when they get together.  She asked me because I'm a grown up and happily married and this is her first relationship.  I told her that I have male friends BUT, I don't text them daily, and I don't meet up with them without my husband. I've known all my guy friends since before I met my husband and I was eager for him to meet them, and their wives, and we all hang out together.  I don't hang out with my guy friends alone.  I think that is not appropriate. Thoughts? This is how we do things in my marriage, but I'm interested to hear from others about their relationships. To me, if the girl is truly just a friend, he'd want her to meet his girlfriend.(they're all 3 from the same city)

seedy history · Answer

I think he should introduce them to each other. If she's curious, why doesn't she just ask to meet this very good friend of his? Does he actively refuse to introduce them? Or he is just not introducing them? You don't mention how long this "partnership" has been going on. If they are dating just a few months then "partner" is the wrong term for the relationship. My husband has female friends and I have male friends. We DO know each other. I have lunch about four times a year with one of my male friends and my husband has never wanted to join us. He'd be welcomed though. My husband works on community projects with several very charming women but it has raised no concerns from me because I have no reason to be concerned.

I think a good question is where do you draw the line between someone you are dating and a "partner". To me, it sounds like your friend might be more serious about the guy than he is about her.

Anonymous · Answer

why do she tolerate him disrespecting her,this should be a red flag already, he has a side piece  and shes not his priority....i;ll just say u-----------------there is 
more going on than meets the eye.if this is a regular occurrence, he might be closer to them than he’s letting on. sis is naive

if his interactions with his female friends never include you, you have a big problem on your hands. If the relationships are purely platonic, there’s no reason for him to hide them from you or for them not to want you to hang out with them. Especially if your relationship is a serious one, they should be trying to get to know you too. Solve this mystery by asking your man why you’re never invited to these outings.

Anonymous · Answer

Husband is blowing it...she wont like it when she finds out

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Where to draw the line with friends of the opposite sex?

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