How do I stop the suffering?

It just seems to be no matter the circumstance I can never shake off this feeling of depression. If I see my friends yeah it helps for a few hours but when I leave I'm back to square one. **** even when I had a gf I was still feeling depressed and suicidal and she only added to it when we were together because she would give me a hard time over the dumbest things. I still am wanting a new one when I know it won't make me happy. I've started taking snus as a coping mechanism as I'm a social drinker only. This coronavirus pandemic (lockdown) is only making things worse as there is nothing to do to try and take my mind off of my thoughts.

They are ever-present and nothing is working, I just want to be free from my thoughts. Yes, this is a cry for help because I'm scared to talk to my friends about my problems because I don't want to upset them in case they're going through anything similar. It's hard for me to get my thoughts out over the phone as well due to me having ASD. The only hobby I really have at the minute is watching football (soccer) on the TV since I'm unable to attend games at the moment. 

I was exercising during the first lockdown because that's all I could've done but now my motivation to do that has completely eroded. 

So all in all, I just want to know how I can erase these feelings; I just want inner peace.