Do you think I'm evil to do this?

I'm married, have 1 adult son. I'm 48. Hubby 63.  Will never leave my husband even though we are living in a celibate relationship,  he doesn't want sex anymore and discussion after discussion no resolution.   Obviously I still want a sex life. I was badly abused at one point in my life so its complex how I feel about sex. During a tumultuous time in my life when I lost both parents and sister a man entered my life and iv fallen head over heels. Hes married. Adult kids.  We have been having an emotional affair for 8 years, some kissing and hugging. Never sex.  We both want to as intense chemistry but I will never go there.  How I feel about him is intense affection......I like him and his family......and I dont want them hurt, hence I keep distance.  To he honest what I'd really like is to be a family friend not an affair partner but he always pushed it this way. Lately he has included family and that's really lovely. I want him to be happy and I love my own partner.  I'm not a bad person guys. Do you think I'm really evil?