I think my boyfriend is selfish. You think?

Question

*I select this category for mature answers.*
We started play house a year ago, among other things, I found he secures his food at dinner all the times. When I cook, he would pick his favorite pieces pile up in his plate before I even get a chance to sit down. When we order food from restaurant, he would pour most food (if not all) into his plate but normally could not finish it. Little things and body language indicate he is afraid I would like to try his food and might want some of his.I was brought up to share food and wait for mom (and everyone in the family) to come to the table before we start getting food. If we order food from restaurant, even though we mostly pick a dish for everyone, we put them in the center family dinner style.Is my boyfriend selfish or he just happens to be brought up differently?

T J · Answer

He was never taught any proper table manners. He acts like a darn pig.

n2mama · Answer

Did your boyfriend grow up in a food insecure household? Because his behavior suggests that he grew up in an environment where there wasn’t enough to eat. If you have never known food insecurity, you will never understand that. I don’t know if I would call it selfish, although I can see how it might appear that way. You may be able to talk to him about it and try to reassure him that there will be enough food, but if that was his experience in his formative years, it may take a long time to change.

With ordered in food, I actually agree with him, with the exception of Chinese food. With Chinese food we all share family style, but with other takeout, everyone has their own entree and we don’t have an expectation of sharing. So that I think may be how you were raised.

Allison · Answer

He's ill-mannered and ignorant.  That's for sure.  Is he from Florida?

i + i · Answer

Selfish, but it may be a result of having to "fight" 
for his food when he was little. I have a friend 
who was a orphan and even though they are 
now in their 50's and doing well, still hoards 
food in his room (he has snacks tucked away 
in various hiding places... childhood traumas 
can affect you for the rest of your life.

♠ Merlin ♠ · Answer

Clearly he has been brought up VERY differently to you, and it sounds like he sometimes went hungry if he didnt "secure his portion"
Not everyone likes "family style"  to judge him selfish, is pretty harsh.
Talk to him about this, instead of brandishing him because he doesnt do things your way. Explain there will always be enough food, he doesnt have to take it all before you have got the chance to take yours

James · Answer

If he shared food he would end up on the news for breaking coronavirus lockdown regulations

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I think my boyfriend is selfish. You think?

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