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I have a Samsung Impression that I purchased late September. It's been working fine until now: my phone doesn't receive messages right away. I notice that my phone will vibrate briefly, but I'm not getting a phone call or a text. Then maybe a minute or two later I will receive the text message. Can you tell me what might be wrong with my phone?

Let's say all the couples on earth died and went to heaven.

At the gate God tells the men to split up into two groups: Those who take commands from their wives and those who do it their own way.

Suprisingly enough, all the men got into the line of those who were whooped by their wives.

One man however was not. God was very disappointed and said to the majority, "I made you in the likes of me and you can't even handle your wives? How sad!

Then he said to the one man, "Please my son, explain to your brothers how you managed to maintain a proper relationship."

The man simply replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here!"

I've been invited to an old school hip-hop party, but i don't know how to dress. It says dress like you're from the 80's. So do i go with chuck's and skinny jeans? Or leggings and cuttoff's, I need help. Pics, suggestions, thanks in advance! :-)

I recently received an ipod and hooked it up to my computer. I didn't have many songs on it, and i hadn't yet installed limewire so i synced with my friends ipod since we listen to the same music. I know that if I sync, the ipod will erase the music i got from my friend's library. At the same time, I don't want all the songs i recieved from her library. I would like to know if there is a way to download the music that is currently on my ipod to my original library without erasing it. Thanks in advance for any given help.

So how come when the sign says "Adults Only" all the little ones click on it? lol

It goes

"Loving you, is easy cause your beautiful

Do-du-do-du-do-do

(Very High Note) Aaaaaaaah,"

An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida,

his wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email,

unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her email address,

he did his best to type it from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an

elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before.

When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor,

let out a piercing scream and fell to the floor in a dead faint, at the sound,

her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen.....

DEAREST WIFE...

JUST GOT CHECKED IN...

EVERYTHING PREPARED FOR YOUR ARRIVAL TOMORROW...

P.S.

SURE IS HOT DOWN HERE.

Two men are in a desert. They both have packs on. One of the guys is dead. The guy who is alive has his pack open, the guy who is dead has his pack closed. What is in the pack?

Is it one of those abbreviations that doesn't extend? I've always wanted to know.

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them."

His wife looked at him calmly and said, "Why do you think I gave you the poison?"

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door.

"Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one."

"Okay," says the butcher. "Let me see what I have left." He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.

"That's one is too skinny. What else you got?" says the man.

The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man.

"Oh, no," says the man, "That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP..."Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.

My mother taught me about GENETICS..."You are just like your father!"

And, my all-time favorite - JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU -- then you'll see what it's like!"

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter."

Said and done, the next time God looks the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were whipped was 100 miles long, on the line of men that dominated women there was only one man.

God got mad and said. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud, Learn from him!" Tell them my son how did you manage to be the only one on that line?

The man said, "I don't know. My wife told me to stand here."

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me two shots." Bartender says, "You want them both now or one at a time?" The guy says," Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here," and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.

The bartender asks "He can drink?"

"Oh, sure. He can drink."

So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up.

"That's amazing" says the bartender. "What else can he do, can he walk?"

The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, "Hey, Jake. Go get that." The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.

The bartender is in total shock. "That's amazing" he says, "what else can he do? Does he talk?"

The man says "Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor's powers!"

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"

The teacher put two baskets of treats on her desk, a basket of apples and a basket of cookies.

She told the students to each take only one treat.

Next to the basket of apples was a sign:

Take only one, God is watching.

As one little boy reached over to take a cookie, the boy next to him said, "Take all you want, God's watching the apples"!

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints.

My friends and i are doing a dance in front of part of the school, and we need a dance song to add to our mixtape. We have "Drop" by fatman scoop and crooklyn clan but we need another song that would be good. We were thinkin about micheal jackson cuz we kinda want to go ol' school. but um ye, if you got anything that you think would be real hot to dance to.

Plus: promise, tepurature, walk it out, and the regular songs aren't what we want. We want something nobody will do.

HELP US PLEASE!