benny gecko

so at the start of this year, I was I suppose... normal? unchanged, indifferent, another sheep in the herd.

but after this summer, I had gotten sick and well they put me on these strong antibiotics, however during the use of these I developed almost an anger issue.

the antibiotics were really strong and made me feel horrible like, I'm talking I have, since taking those pills, been irritable to the point where I am now suicidal because the feeling wont go away and its led to a mental decline.

almost to the point where I feel I may need to sign my rights over to the government because my grip on reality is so bad right now I wake up not knowing what to believe or not.

I had an extreme bout of memory loss, as well as other issues because of this medicine I was "prescribed"

and I used to know 3 languages 8 instruments and a whole lot of other things... but now that I am wishing to die every day as I wake up, the company basically called me a liar because this antibiotic "has never developed issues of this nature before"

I currently am extremely suicidal and I cant understand a whole lot anymore, constantly regretting what I personally feel are normal decisions...

I don't want to go too into depth but I'm so distraught over the entire situation I'm seriously ready for suicide. I'm basically homeless because the medicine was 25$ per pill and I was given a months worth

cant get on medicare or anything...

idk... do I just give away my rights or do I rot?

so I am slowly starting to lose all memories of well me, my life my experiences I can remember bits and pieces but its like my mind is trying to wipe.

I used to speak 3 languages play 8 instruments now there are words idk in the English language I forgot I was engaged and I don't even remember who I work with.

I'm forgetting names (forgot my middle name this morning) places and people. I graduated at 16 and now I don't even know how to divide... what is going on...

I took doxycycline a few days ago I believe my body had an adverse reaction so I switched to ciprofloxacn for genital inflammation due to unknown reasons.

basically I am forgetting everything that has not happened within the last few hours I barely remember where I live idk where I work just know I have it saved in my phone. but I don't remember a lot, and idk what to do... no one ever taught me how to handle something like this I don't know if id remember the training anyways.

please help hopefully I don't forget I wrote this

So I used to get these suckers as a kid, I love them however i haven't been able to find any, I don't know what they are called but they are a sucker, however are chewy like a gummy bear but they break apart easier than gummy candies, it's almost like a marshmallow but not quite. And they are really sweet does anyone know what they are called? Like do they have a specific name or candy type. I know many have had these but i just received them from friends and family i never bought one so i don't know what to look for exactly.

Thanks for any help you can provide would live to be able to have one of these again!

Lol so first off this is gonna sound crazy af but... I just woke up from a dream, idk what it was about but it was in fluent Japanese. I can only remember the last sentence said to me which was something like "o do/du jay/jei suma(S) sumasu" lol I have only about 2 months in Japanese and I only know like half of the hiragana alphabet memorized... Idk why I would have a dream not only in fluent Japanese... But remember that specifically

If anyone can help me translate it xD that would be amazing haha.

Also the best i can do to put it somewhat in how I heard it would be something like" お づ じぇい すま すます " not saying that's exactly what I heard or that was exactly how to write it (I only know hiragana so forgive me.) but it's the closest I could think of it could be wrong but any help is appreciated.

If u can xD plz don't be trying to use google translate that is hardly ever accurate

I don't know the exact names of them, but recently I went to a gun show with my brother in law and saw a WWII SS belt buckle pistol.

I'm not a huge fan of the whole Nazi thing but I did find it extremely interesting and it seems like yes it would be a tad impractical but when close quarters being mugged at gunpoint or in specific situations (where lethal force IS required) this seems like it would be a good thing to have since you could inconspicuously shoot them if need arises.

I want to know are these legal to own? I'm in Colorado, so registration isn't required (unless it is fully automatic which this is just basically 4 single shot .22's in a belt buckle more of a pistol if anything)

it seems like it could be a cool piece (although I may find some way to have a new cover made that wasn't covered with swastikas and SS symbols lol)

I don't know much about the weapon either all I know is close range would be the only effectiveness of it since it doesn't really have barrels basically just enough space to hold 4 entire 22 pistol rounds.

would this be legal? because I mean I know I need a concealed carry permit. but even with that, I am not sure if it would be considered a pistol or some form of novelty weapon

I am not sure if they even work xD I would hate to have a bullet just blow up by my crotch but still could be a unique concealed carry weapon + it has four shots & is really low profile like I didn't even know it was a gun till the guy showed me. thoughts though?

what do you think? I personally feel that this would make the human race last a lot longer than its going to with our current individualist upbringing

- Intel Core i7 6950X CPU

- 32GB DDR4 2666MHz Memory

- 2x SLI GeForce GTX 1080 8GB

- Exotic Custom Liquid Cooling

- 512GB NVMe M.2 Samsung SSD

- 2TB 7200RPM Storage HDD

- X99 Motherboard

- 1200W Corsair AX PSU

for 7500$ ive found most of the parts for about 6000$ but I want it prebuilt because I suck at water cooling and wire management. + all the parts mentioned don't account for the water cooling components the software and the case.

so is this a reasonable price? I just want a really buff pc that can handle most games with ease

got a new headset by axent wear (cat ear headphones are awesome :D)

but when I use it on the computer it only detects the microphone or the audio however I am using realtek audio manager and I can get audio through the microphone jack and vice versa but is there a way to get both through one jack on my pc?

it works fine on my phone but I cant get it to work on the pc? I need this to work soon, its a great headset but I don t want to have to get a splitter that just makes it more of a hassle to deal with later

I heard about this a long time ago but there used to be this scooter that had the back wheel slightly offset so the back axel wasn't centered with the wheel and basically you bobbed up and down and it would propel the scooter forward.

the creator was said to go over 100 miles or something? on this easily (of course with breaks it was a tour showing his new invention if I remember correctly) and it was really popular in the early to mid 1900's

does anyone know why this isn't around anymore? like did it break too easily was it too dangerous or did it not work well? I just wanted to know because truthfully I would love one of these XD I mean obviously u cant go up hills with it but still just going to the drug store to pick up some milk or something it would be great and it sounds like a low effort thing but still a form of physical workout

I want to create a server for hosting games, but idk everything about it. I wanted to ask a few question about this

is owning a server (tower I think its called?) illegal in residential areas?

can servers be bought prebuilt? or do they HAVE to be hand built (I'm not good with building PC's XD so this could prove a problem)

are they hard to maintain?

what all would I need to run one?

can they be stacked on top of eachother, or do you NEED the tower to prevent things like overheating/throttling and all that.

is there anything specific they need for running game servers?

that is all I can think of right now. however I will sya I'm not trying to sell services to anyone I'm just wanting to not pay 1$ per person on servers and would like to run my own for free rather than pay 639.99 a year for 1 game

thanks for any help you can provide!

would it be possible to make a nuclear explosive that would be so small that if you scaled the Hiroshima bomb that what the Hiroshima bomb is to us would be that scale but to ants or some other small creature.

I mean I don't want some devastating device that could kill thousands or anything I think it would just be hilarious to see a large ant hill "nuked" and just like idk XD

I wish they had this I mean a nuke so small that the mushroom cloud barely stood a foot tall and the radiation covered area would be maybe like 20-50 feet.

I'm not saying that radiation is good or the bombs are good but I do think it would be cool and kinda funny to watch a mini nuke go off XD like the smaller the better lol even if it was like a .22 BB size nuke that could barely burn your toenail

I just want to see this happen.

but is this/would this be possible at all? lol XD I mean idk how they work maybe they can only be so small but still I just imagine an eraser sized nuke dropping next to an ant hill

and hey scientists could more safely observe the full effects of nuclear radiation on insects and all that in what I'm assuming would be a desolate or contained/controlled environment

thanks for reading and let me know if this is possible lol I would pay good money to the government to watch a mini nuke of that size go off XD

I want to learn old English I don't know if it has another nickname for it but I wanted to learn it because I like the way it sounds XD

is the language still known? or is it forgotten

It is 4:25 am I ve been awake almost 13 hours now but I am not tired and I feel like working out? I only eat one meal a day (im pretty inactive) so it s not like I ate a bunch of energy rich food or anything

Is this normal ? Like is my body telling me it needs some movement or is it just like some kind of weird rush idk how to describe it I have normal blood flow I m not excited or anything

But mainly I want to know if I should or shouldn t do some exercise I mean I am healthy and could exercise for an hour or so but I don t do full out workouts ? Lol i ve never had this happen before so idk if it would be healthy this late? Or anything like that

I have done over 35 interviews. I'm 5000$ in debt and need to pay this ish, but no one is hiring ive even got a place telling me "if you can wait 42 weeks we have a position opening up then".

why do people offer interviews then never hire? I mean ive gone to places where they need 12+ staff. and ive mean ive gone to places like Xerox to moving companies nursing homes and even fast food. and yet they still never call back. or when I call them they simply state "we decided to go a different route"

I mean these places act like they are going to get professionals coming in. like at a jack in the box I got an interview and they literally asked me "have you had 5 or more years in the food industry?" if I cant even get into a low a$$ job like this? how do they expect anyone to get a job? when you cant even get training I don't have the money for college I don't even have money, this is being posted from the community center library... dafuq am I supposed to do? only work ive done is electrician (almost died so I was fired so I couldn't get workmans comp) landscaping (broke my arm so I was fired due to inefficiency) roofing (had a nail from a roll of old shingles punctured an artery and the company didn't want to pay for the hospital bill) only places it seems work is available is construction. and if you even want to get a low level job like mcdonalds they want stupid crap like years of experience working in the food industry...

what should I do> because this is impossible

ive seen a lot of people have troubles with hdmi and audio when dealing with hdtv (it works fine on my regular flatscreen but I got a new one) how do you fix the audio? I am using windows 10 and I cant find anyway to fix it. I do see the tv as an option for the audio but when I make it my default half the time all the sounds stil come from the Realtek Digital Output and even when the sound does switch to the tv audio it doesn't play any sound whatsoever (really har dot play games or anything since there is no sound lol id settle for the dial up screeches right now haha.

thanks for any help you can provide.

Does anyone know where I can find that video of those people who are descendants of the original pilgrims, I seen it a couple of times on tv but I can t find it anywhere. They were basically isolated from the rest of society since they got settled in America idk too much about it or them itself but I wanted to show my friend the video

I love old cars like my dream car is a 1931 Buggati royale kellner coupe. my realistic dream car is a 1954 Desoto automatic (firedome). I saw this concept car, through pictures from a car show in 1954. but was it only a concept? or was it ever actually produced as a test model like functioning and all that. because I would definitely pay a good 200,000$ for one of these I love that retro style futuristic look. thanks for any (helpful) responses ^-^ and thanks for reading

im 18 and wanted to get a job, and I went to apply at Walmart, I got halfway through, the application and they are asking for references... I don't know nobody, ive never worked for anyone before, I wasn't allowed to leave my street by myself, until I turned 18.

I don't know what to do I know nobody and it says no relatives... all I know is one friend but hes under the age of 18 and I have no idea what to do for this

all I want is a job that I can work 16 hours a day, with no holidays no vacations, and get payed minimum wage without it breaking my back

so I am so confused, I have no idea what you would call me. I am very intelligent and I soak up information like a sponge, I hate my generation, kids nowadays are just horrible. I like old tv and music from the 20's-60's. however, I love todays technology, I love video games, and long for past and future to come together.

im a hopeless romantic yet I long for loneliness. I cant put one perspective on something, I have to look at everything from every point of view though I don't like it most of the time. I am so very depressed, yet so very at peace with myself and the world.

I have an untampered bible from the 1500's and know it front to back. I believe in a god, but knowing history believe that god may be not one but many, or possibly an idea or object more than a person, or mystical/spiritual being.

my interests are not exactly my own. though I think for myself, I take others ideals and viewpoints and add them to my own.