Seph

I sometimes see things that are rather alarming. Does this often happen?

with three breasts?

I'm 35, living with my parents due to being disabled from my mental health issues. I've been on a waiting list for housing support in a nearby town and it's finally come through. If everything comes together I'll be moving out. My dad just gave me crap about it. Is that weird?

I have irreconcilable differences with my dad and really need to move out. But why does he always insist I stay living with them?

I guess I could list my symptoms...

1) I'm diagnosed bipolar and suicide is on the table with me. I have a long list of previous DXs but that's the current one.

2) My previous living situation ended because I believed my neighbors (guy right above me in an apartment complex) were dealing drugs from their apartment. I'm about 80% sure they really were and it wasn't just in my head. I called the cops on them. (This was technically a suicide attempt...death by drug dealer... piss off a drug dealer until they want to kill you... all they did was scratch up my car though...)So I moved back in with my parents before they did something that I did care about like taking out my tires.

My irreconcilable differences with my dad:

1) My dad is a faith healer. Watching his ministry, I've seen at least one person die due to stopping medication. I consider his profession only one step away from criminal activity. (and in fact he straddles the fence with practicing medicine without being a doctor. He has to be extremely careful what he says in regards to medicine or he crosses that line.)

2) My dad would rather fly me to Phoenix, Arizona for deliverance from demons rather than have me accept professional treatment. He's given me crap for calling a suicide hot-line before.

3) I have a few crossed wires sexually. I'm still a virgin at 35 and don't feel a strong need to change it. I sometimes think about it and think I would rather be in a homosexual relationship than a heterosexual relationship. If I want to explore my sexuality, I don't think it's happening living with parents. I have an urge to build a sex-bot. (a she-male sex-bot none the less...) I don't think I could get away with it living with my parents.

Am I wrong to want to move out?

I've asked a few questions the past week and have gotten some negative comments on them. I think I'm just being honest... maybe a few are me venting too much... They're all real questions though... (except for the last one listed... that was a bit of a joke...)

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ar7o5...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At66u...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoFCy...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlFVD...

Someone even claimed what I was doing was "despicable"...

Am I really a troll for asking these questions?

My dad claims that he gets 80% of the people he prays for healed. My mom has been diagnosed with a rare form of MS called Devic's Disease. How much prayer will it take to heal her? Or is his wife part of the 20% that doesn't get healed?

So... When I was a kid there was some minor incest with my sister. I was 12, she was 17. All it amounted to was voyeurism/exhibitionism so it can only barely be called incest. I have no idea where on that spectrum what happened would be. But... these days I have a problem where I believe women think that I'm leering. So much so that I've literally tried to blind myself before. Do you believe this is caused by what happened as a kid? I have some autistic leanings and don't always make correct eye contact...(I think I stare too much...) I have no idea if you need to know that or not to answer this but there you go.

Where to begin?

Well, the only thing I know for sure is that I'm rather masochistic. I've practiced self-bondage since I was 12. The porn I look at is BDSM themed. Mostly straight with men topping women. I identify myself with the women. Does this mean I'm transgendered? In video games I play I almost exclusively play as women. I just feel more comfortable that way. Things just feel off playing as a guy. When I was a kid I experimented a little bit with crossdressing. Today I don't think I would really want to try but sometimes I think about it. I wouldn't know where to start. I'd make an ugly woman. (But I'm not a half bad looking guy, if I do say so myself.)

The few times I've been attracted to someone in real life it was with women. But sexual fantasies are almost exclusively with men. Does this make me gay or straight? The times I was attracted were during manic episodes. (I'm bipolar.) Without the episodes to point to I haven't been attracted to anyone really. Does that make me asexual? I'm actually technically a virgin and I don't always feel a strong need to change that. (But sometimes I want to...) The extent of my experience is self-bondage, porn, and Second Life where I go around as a girl and have sex with unsuspecting men.

So... Am I gay, straight, bi, transgendered, or asexual?

So... Should I just go? I want to go to the gym and then to maybe Cici's. Think I can get away with it? Bathing seems like so much effort...

Purely hypothetical question so don't worry... Sometimes you hear stories of parents who killed their kids and claim that God told them to. (These people are mentally ill. However, I too suffer mental illness, bipolar. I often times find myself wondering what would happen if this happened to me.) This isn't unheard of in scripture with Abraham being told to sacrifice Isaac. With this in mind, what would you tell someone who believed God was telling them to sacrifice their kids? What would you do if you believed God told you to sacrifice your kids? How would you differentiate between what God is saying and what's in your head when there is already precedence of God doing this in the Bible?

To start with I'm bipolar. (With some possible autistic leanings that don't matter right now...) I'm coming out of a pretty bad depressive episode and feel myself warming up to the possibility of trying the Christian thing again. I've poked my head in my old church. (They actually effectively asked me to not come back but that was a long time ago and it's completely turned over... I don't think they remember...) So... how do I know God is real and talking to me or if I'm going manic and it's all in my head? Is there any objectivity you use when determining this? What would you do if you didn't trust what goes on in your head?