Hiding

First off, let me apologize if this is a big mess of TL;DR. I'm having a bit of trouble getting my thoughts together to explain everything.

Just lately I found out about this disorder, and it seems like everything fits with me with all of the symptoms, but I wanted some outside opinions.

I am a fifteen years old male, and for the longest time now I've been having problems with social situations. I feel completely inept with almost all social encounters, with holding a conversation, eye contact, physical cues, that kind of thing. I can understand them when others do them but I am just lost when it comes to anything myself. Most of the time when I am talking to someone in real life, the majority of everything I say will be simple replies such as "yeah", "no thanks", and so on. I just can't hold a conservation. On top of all of that I have a terrible fear of rejection, and I do everything I can not to reveal anything about myself. I'm always imagining that people are having ulterior motives and talking about me behind my back. So I have a hard time trusting people as well. Most of this is completely irrational. I haven't been bullied or any way or have any reason to fear anything. But I do.

Because of issues like these, I tend to completely avoid social encounters. I have only one actual friend in real life, and a couple online. And the one in real life isn't close at all to me. I'm terrified enough of social encounters that I'm currently being home-schooled. Along with all of this, I'm scared of new situations and go to great lengths to avoid them. And don't get me wrong, it's not that I just prefer to be alone and isolated. I want to have friends, more than almost anything really. To the point where I have tried to convince myself that I have different disorders and want myself to be sick, along with making up exciting stories as if it would make people care.

Last of all, I've had bad depression for a couple years now. My self-esteem is absolute crap, I never stop beating myself up over every mistake I make, and at times I honestly hate everything about myself. I've even considered suicide before because of all this. I'd never actually do anything, but I would be always thinking about it (I'm past that now).

So just lately I found out about Avoidant Personality Disorder, and it seems like everything fits. I haven't talked to a professional about it, but I'm just looking for other opinions.

So, that's about it. What do you guys think? Could I actually have the disorder or some other one, or am I just being a shy whiny-b*tch because of hormones or something?

(For anyone who has read all of this to the end: thanks. It really means alot, even if you don't comment.)

I'm sure this is one of "those" questions that everyone hates, but oh well. I tried looking around but have gotten all different ranges. $1000+, $700-900, etc.

So I'm looking for some more opinions. I'm just looking for something that I could get by on, that I could possibly upgrade later. Not anything that would be for hardcore gamers able to run the highest graphics settings on games.

So that said, how much do you guys think a decent or even lower-end gaming computer cost should I buy one custom-made from a site, or if I built it myself instead?

Most of the time I feel perfectly fine, nothing is wrong. But at times if I get happy enough, almost immediately after I will "crash" and feel depressed as hell, and uncaring about everything and just want to sleep. It basically happens like: feeling normal, get ecstatic/happy from something or listening to music, then soon after I feel like total crap. Outside of that I occasionally have depressive days once in a while, but nothing odd besides that.

Could I be bipolar or something?

I have a internal camera on my windows 7 compaq laptop, and I can't find any way of turning it on, even after checking google and more.

My computer came with CyberLink YouCam, but when I turn it on it says that the camera is not detected, and make sure it is on. I also tried looking under "My Computer", nothing there either.

Any ideas anyone?

For my entire life I have basically been a complete perfectionist with many things I do. Not because I want to, but I feel like I have to. If I don't I actually get angry or depressed about it until it is fixed. Not for big things either. For example whenever I am at a library at school, or anyplace, It annoys the living hell out of me if the books are not ordered right or are not aligned. If it isn't, then it just tears at me mentally until I either do something about it, or until I force myself to walk away and take my mind off it. It is only for small issues that don't make a difference, I am not like this for nothing big at all. Would this be considered OCD? I never have mentioned it to my parents or a doctor, so I am not entirely sure and I am just asking for some opinions on what you think.

Earlier today about 12 in the afternoon in my lunch class, my friend next to me began eating a only peanut butter sandwich. I began having a little bit of a hard time breathing next class, which passed a bit, then in the period after, my body became very sore like I am sick or something and that is where I am at now. I did not eat any peanut butter at all, and anyways I do not really have allergies to it. I do, but it is very minimal and I can eat it. Any idea what I should do? I called my mom who is a vet (went to med school for years) and she told me to take some medicine which I did. My body is really sore now and I am laying down, resting. My breathing is a bit better, but I am still having a very tiny bit of a hard time with breathing. All I could do was smell the stuff, and I am like this now. Me being the stubborn retard that I am, I didn't go to the nurse at school and bared through until I got home. What could have happened? Could my peanut butter allergy have gotten worse through the years, or was it maybe just a certain type of peanut butter? And what should I do?

I am becoming vegetarian slowly and my mom has noticed and has been non-stop nagging me about how it is not good, and I will not get enough protein and I will get sick. My mom is in the medical business, so I trust what she said. So what are the main sources of proteins for vegetarians, and what is the worst that could happen if you do not get enough protein over time?

Just a random question I have been thinking of. I am gay myself, and I am pessimist. With my friends, the majority of them that are lesbian or gay have pessimists, while my hetero friends have been optimistic. Of course there were also some optimistic gay friends, and pessimist straight friends, But the majorities were as I said above.

What about you guys here? Are you positive or negative?

(A kind of side question, what is your answer to the question " Is the glass half empty, or half full?",?

Lately for the past 1 or 2 weeks, I have hardly been eating. I have some days been having a breakfast of a bowl of cereal, and NOTHING else the entire day. Other days, I will just have like one bowl of soup or something for dinner. Even about 2 days I did not eat what so ever.

I am not trying not to eat, I am just not hungry. I am eating whenever I feel hungry at all, and still I am not eating. My mom that I live with (my parents are divorced) is getting worried about me for not eating, and even my friends are beginning to notice since I stopped bringing/eating lunch at school. If it has to do with anything, I have been very depressed lately about not having a boyfriend or finding love, to the point at times where I have cried myself to sleep. But I am still keeping up with my physical health, and I am perfectly aware of everything I have been doing.

What do you guys think?

I have light blue eyes, and my favorite color is also blue. Got lucky on that one :)

What is you guys favorite color?

I don't know if it is just me, but it seems like here in yahoo answers and actually, everywhere almost only girls are Bi. I hear a lot about gay men, but NEVER bi, while I CONSTANTLY read about bi girls. Anyone else feel this way?

I just came out to my mom a few hours ago. She couldn't be much more accepting, and doesn't even mind. But right now, I feel VERY depressed and bad. I just don't know what to do...I just want to end feeling like this. I wish I never came out now.

Yesterday I started getting these random page redirects on youtube, bring me to something called thefeedyard.com and search engines and even attack sites sometimes. I have tried everything to get it out..but it won't work. I have managed to half get rid of it, but it still redirects me, not under thefeedyard, but under greatfeedmill or something like that.

List of things I have done :

Multiple scans with spyware doctor, malwarebytes anti malware, spybot search and destroy

Safe mode booting then scanning.

And just to prevent the problem for now, I put a add on onto firefox called NoScript to prevent the redirect page from showing anything more than a blank page.

I have went into safe mode and deleted this over and over about 4 times now and it keeps coming back! I am using malware bytes and full scanned my computer but it won't stop coming back. Please HELP!! Here is malwarebytes log if it helps:

Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware 1.35

Database version: 1904

Windows 6.0.6002 Service Pack 2

9/24/2009 5:12:53 PM

mbam-log-2009-09-24 (17-12-53).txt

Scan type: Full Scan (C:\|D:\|)

Objects scanned: 236923

Time elapsed: 29 minute(s), 31 second(s)

Memory Processes Infected: 0

Memory Modules Infected: 0

Registry Keys Infected: 1

Registry Values Infected: 0

Registry Data Items Infected: 0

Folders Infected: 0

Files Infected: 0

Memory Processes Infected:

(No malicious items detected)

Memory Modules Infected:

(No malicious items detected)

Registry Keys Infected:

HKEY_CURRENT_USER\SOFTWARE\XML (Trojan.FakeAlert) -> Quarantined and deleted successfully.

Registry Values Infected:

(No malicious items detected)

Registry Data Items Infected:

(No malicious items detected)

Folders Infected:

(No malicious items detected)

Files Infected:

(No malicious items detected)

I am always hearing a ringing sound in my ears, especially at night when there is no noise. When I hear noise I don't notice it, but when im trying to sleep it seems like a loud annoying ringing. Any ideas what it is? (No, I have not been around loud things either)

Earlier today I acc. stabbed myself with a pencil in my arm and a piece of lead broke off. I already know about lead poisoning, so I cleaned it out with disinfecting soap and water. Would it be okay to just leave it? Or should I just dig it out with a needle. Right now, I think I should just get it out, but what do you guys think? It is a covered by a bit of skin and I don't really want to shove a needle in my arm and dig it out.

I am doing a logo for my company and I need the white backround removed. I do not have photoshop or anything, but I could download needed free things. Please help, as I really don't feel like downloading a huge photoshop on my slow internet..

[CENTER][IMG]http://www.wizards.com/magic/images/whatcolor_isbl... the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.[/B][/URL][/CENTER]

It is from the magic quiz, so any idea on how I would use that for a sig in a forum?

Every time I try just cop and pasting it..when I look at my comments I only see that code.

When the power cord is plugged in to it, it will not charge at all. I have ordered a new cord, but could there be anything else be going on that doesn't have to do with the cord? Help please.

(Just to clarify. When the power cord is plugged in to the computer, it will NOT charge the computer at all. I am currently running off battery, and this just suddenly happened out of the blue about 15 minutes ago. I know its not my house, because a light in the same outlet is working.)

Please help ASAP, I am running off battery now and have 40 mins left to use it.

I mean like from http://randomsitename.com/ to something like Click here. or something like that.

Free 10 points for a easy question. Thanks everyone who can help.