rockybouldersmith

I'm sick of Wisconsin.

And those that live there.

YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.

I remember walking around town after I went to a corner street bar and then things got weird. All the street lights got very bright after I heard a noise that would be on a keyboard used for techno music and I ended up very disoriented. I was in a room and three human looking people were standing around me when I was sitting in a comfortable chair and it seemed like they were asking me questions and talking amongst themselves in a language I couldn't understand. It was like clicking and the parents for Charlie Brown. One pulled out an object that looked like a credit card that emitted light and drew a picture in the air by moving the light that changed colors and then handed me a small piece of paper. Then the lights dimmed and the all sat cross legged on the floor in a half circle in front of my chair and listened to the weirdest music that was capable of changing my emotions and making me focus on things, but it was very interesting. I've never heard anything like it before. There were all dressed in multiple different colors with colorful bracelets like people. Then they handed me an object that controlled what they told me through my mind, my life in a different dimension on what appeared to be a life sized flat screen where I stole vehicles and shot people with no remorse. I felt like I was drugged and it was the best night of my life. I woke up in my home alone.

^ That's the question ^

THAT MAKES IT SOUND DANGEROUS TO SMOKE!

But isn't there 4000 chemicals in every plant?

When you don't have it, you need it and it depresses you. When you have too much, material objects don't mean a thing to you and it depresses you.

I inherited 2.5 million dollars. I have a nice three room apartment that I bought from the land lord, fully furnished by Pier 1. A 2004 BMW M3. A black 2010 Cadillac CTS-v. An $8,000 Gibson guitar. And a months wardrobe of $1,000 custom tailored casual suites. A Rolex and silver rings for each finger to match my silver necklace and bracelets. And a girl friend that still wonders how I have the money for this stuff. I have everything I could want, why am I depressed?

10 easy steps to create an enemy and start a war:

Listen closely because we will all see this weapon used in our lives.

It can be used on a society of the most ignorant to the most highly educated.

We need to see their tactics as a weapon against humanity and not as truth.

First step: create the enemy. Sometimes this will be done for you.

Second step: be sure the enemy you have chosen is nothing like you.

Find obvious differences like race, language, religion, dietary habits

fashion. Emphasize that their soldiers are not doing a job,

they are heartless murderers who enjoy killing!

Third step: Once these differences are established continue to reinforce them

with all disseminated information.

Fourth step: Have the media broadcast only the ruling party's information

this can be done through state run media.

Remember, in times of conflict all for-profit media repeats the ruling party's information.

Therefore all for-profit media becomes state-run.

Fifth step: show this enemy in actions that seem strange, militant, or different.

Always portray the enemy as non-human, evil, a killing machine.

THIS IS HOW TO CREATE AN ENEMY. THIS IS HOW TO START A WAR.

Sixth step: Eliminate opposition to the ruling party.

Create an "Us versus Them" mentality. Leave no room for opinions in between.

One that does not support all actions of the ruling party should be considered a traitor.

Seventh step: Use nationalistic and/or religious symbols and rhetoric to define all actions.

This can be achieved by slogans such as "freedom loving people versus those who hate freedom."

This can also be achieved by the use of flags.

Eighth step: Align all actions with the dominant deity.

It is very effective to use terms like, "It is god's will" or "god bless our nation."

Ninth step: Design propaganda to show that your soldiers

have feelings, hopes, families, and loved ones.

Make it clear that your soldiers are doing a duty; they do not want or like to kill.

Tenth step: Create and atmosphere of fear, and instability

and then offer the ruling party as the only solutions to comfort the public's fears.

Remembering the fear of the unknown is always the strongest fear.

We are not countries. We are not nations. We are not religions.

We are not gods. We are not weapons. We are not ammunition. We are not killers.

We will NOT be tools.

I wear tight fitting jeans and t-shirts, I always match. I'm straight and when it comes to thinking of sex, I can't stop thinking about girls. Anyone think there's a cultural brainwashing going on here about what's manly and womanly?

Apparently, they respond to music both negatively and positively, depending on the style and genre.

This all came from an unexpected unexplainable panic attack. And it was extreme after that because I would proceed to panic after each one and my derealization would proceed to get worse and worse like a never ending running wheel downward spiral for an entire year. It makes me panic more.

Now it's getting rather irritating and I'm concerned, can this be? Is this possible to be this extreme?

I feel like I'm high on drugs all the time.

My senses are hypersensitive and if I touch myself or anything I get a euphoric feeling I can't even discribe. It feels like my skin is an ocean and touch is so much more sensitive. Like if I put my hand behind me and touch my back it feels like they are mixing together but stay in the same form all at once. I feel like I'm floating around in a lupid dream or locked in a coma.

My vision is also like I'm high on drugs. I see trails behind moving objects, like after images. When I'm standing in a room the walls look like they breathe in my perifial vision. The wall or background behind anything I'm focused on, such as a person for example goes back and forth, closer futher.. Etc. I can take an LED, or the screen on my cellphone and move it in a rainbow shape, it's like the light stays there for a little longer than it should then gets sucked back towards the phone in the same shape I moved it in. Everything looks fake, like a really good animation. Sometimes a 2D cartoon poster that I'm looking though only my eyes controlling my body like it's a machine. Tends to flucuate, but always gets worse.

It's like...

I'm acting a part in what seems to be a skit in a dream world. Trying to act like myself, but I've changed and there's still a little me inside me and it comes out every now and then, but it's hard to act normal. There's a veil over my eyes and I think everybody hates me, but I know that's not true but it's questionable. I know none of this is right. For your information, I don't do drugs but I smoked Mcigarettes, it's the only thing I can compare this feeling to but it's like waaay worse and it makes me paranoid. It's like I'm slowly going insane and it's going to get worse until I can't function at all, I'll just be this euphoric blob of a person melting on my couch.

Because of this, a couple months ago I stayed in my house majority of the time and talked to no one and it got worse, I heard argraphobia can make Derealization much much worse. I wish I could get more into detail with the vision and stuff, it's crazy messed up.

I hear it happens to the best of us.

And if that's true, I'm interested in hearing how the best of us deal with sleeping with a girl your not attracted to or even like after a night of heavy drinking.

I'm miserable and I know if my buddys hear about it, they're going to mess with me and make it worse.

What are things I can say to them and myself to make myself feel better and try to forget about it and move on? Help me.

Is it true if I were to relax my neck muscles, relax my jaw and let it hang but have my mouth closed with my tongue resting at the bottom of my mouth and my eyes fixed forward in a stare that in about 2 to 3 months my face could get more symmetrical? And by chewing more often on the side of my face with the smaller jaw muscle help too?

If that's not true can you help me out with some advice?

And is it true that if I eat healthier and drink water it will help as well?

Like In Flames, Dark Tranquility, Etc.