What do you think of this poem for a lost loved one?

Mommy Please Don’t Cry
By: Kenny P. aka- Cobra


I don’t remember how I got here,
Or why, I’m up above.

But I know I’m not alone,
In this place I’m speaking of.

I just want you to know,
that I’m doing fine, in this perfect place.

so try not to cry, and worry too much,
Because I’m in His hands, and in His loving grace.

So remember these words I say to you,
and promise me, you’ll carry on.

I’ll always be your loving daughter,
and I’ll be here, you’re whole life long.

It wasn’t your fault; this I know is true,
so never think, you could have changed it.

just remember, all the years we shared,
and that I’ll always be, in your loving spirit.

Anonymous2006-11-19T17:16:11Z

Favorite Answer

That is a very beautiful and reassuring poem. It brought a tear to my eye yet peace in my heart. Good Job!!

dove rizzle2006-11-20T01:25:49Z

If you are asking about the aestetic appeal of the poem, then I would suggest trying to have the same amount of syllables or pattern in each stanza.
In other words:

"I just want you to know,
that I’m doing fine, in this perfect place.

so try not to cry, and worry too much,
Because I’m in His hands, and in His loving grace."

might sound better if you edited it down to:

"I just want you to know,that I’m doing fine, in this perfect place.

so try not to cry, and worry too much,
Because I’m in His loving grace."

As for subject matter, it is obviously from the heart and no one can deny the power of a poem derived from personal anguish.

One Love2006-11-20T01:30:56Z

Yes i love it, sad but you did a great job.

Andizzle Foshizzle2006-11-20T01:22:29Z

The answer for the question depends on the age of the writer. If it is under 20, then I would say it is very magnificent. Over 20, then I ould say okay, but could improve. But Shakespeare is still better, no offense. Also, I think this poem reminds those parents of how children love them, no matter what they say (like I wish i had better parents, i hate you, etc.)

Anonymous2006-11-20T01:47:30Z

i am a very poetic person my self and reguardles if u wrote it or not i thought it was amazing<3

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