How to tell my Dad that I dont want to take care of Grandma anymore?

I need any advice I can get. Im just out of college and I have been living at home recently trading stock and saving up money to move out. Im doing pretty well. I have saved up almost $10,000, but since I donot have a w2 I cant really move out until I have well over $20,000 in savings, unless I have a day to day job. My parents are split, but both have said that I can stay until im ready to move out. My grandmother is 93 years old, and she needs daily elderly care. At her house there is TV with no remote, no internet, and she has dementia so mostly all she does is sleep and ask rhetorical and nonsensical questions. I didnt mind doing it at first, cooking cleaning and taking care of things around the house. Recently though, my inability to trade during the day has caused me to start losing money. Beyond that, I keep a regular news blog, and had an obsession with getting up to the minute news. I noticed myself becoming very depressed and almost suicidal because I was losing money helplessly, completely detached from what I felt was a comfortable daily schedule, and unable to talk to my Dad. I am still having trouble doing it. I want to tell him that because I have to spend everyday from 12-7 at her house, I forego eating breakfast washing and brushing my teeth in the morning because im trying to make my stock moves. I get very very very depressed by the time I have to leave, and then to sit in her house for 7 hours just makes it so that looking over my charts in the evening is a HUGE burden and no longer the fun stock picking adventure it used to be. I have a fear that my dad will make me move out if I tell him that I am being so negatively influenced by having to work with my grandma 40 hours a week, but that wont help anything. Just yesterday he came up to me and told me its so important that im in my grandma's life as she moves towards death, but honestly 40 hours a week? Im so lost and confused. I want my happiness and freedom back, but im not quite ready to move out on my own. My mom says that if I live with her then I must be at a job and not sitting around the house all day. When I trade carefully I can make 90-100$ everyday, and even on the bad days as long as im paying attention I dont lose that much. Its been hell recently with my missing so much because I am at her house trying to watch it from the phone and not the computer. Im sorry I wrote so much. I just wanted to give details. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get out of this mess? Maybe talk try to talk to my dad and reduce the amount of time. He thinks its ok because he pays me 100$ a week, but its hardly worth it. Any advice will help. Thanks!!

2012-10-23T08:15:59Z

Btw... I basically live between the TV and computer. Doing research and watching news and numbers. I just get SOOOO depressed from having to go and deal with her EVERYDAY. Honestly, it makes me wish she would go ahead a croak.

bopdaddy2012-10-23T09:14:35Z

Favorite Answer

do your trading at her house and install INTERNET to do so

Patricia2012-10-23T09:52:02Z

Just let your dad know he is going to have to find someone else to help with grandma because you are not able to do it anymore. Give him a couple weeks to find someone. If she has dimentia she cant be left alone as she would be a danger to herself. Your dad needs to find a nursing home situation for her.... and if she doesn't have the finances, i'm sure she can get financial assistance -- every nursing home has a financial aid/business department.

You should never be expected to care for an elderly relative at your age... you are not responsible for your grandmother..... and shouldn't have to be.

brence2016-07-31T06:01:20Z

Sweetheart, nothing in what you've got wrote here gives me any indication to aid your claim that u don't believe your dad loves you anymore. Probably, he has different matters on his intellect correct now and despite the fact that family will have to come first especially else, he will not be paying as a lot awareness to you as he will have to correct now, but it under no circumstances method he doesn't love you anymore. Additionally I doubt your mother hated you as a little one, she could have placed values on you at the time which might be chinese language culture, I do not know as I do not know what chinese household traditions are besides what you wrote, but you may want to sit her down and ask her. You are 14, why do not you sit down with your dad and inform him how you consider and let him reply your question...In any case he's your dad and he'll reply your query truthfully. In no way be afraid to speak with your mum and dad about anything, being calm and respectful of them even as. You will have many loves on your future but you will only have one mum and dad, and they both love you dearly, as you do them. Excellent luck and GOD bless.

Anonymous2012-10-23T08:24:42Z

your father should not expect a young lad to look after his granmother you and your father can get help surely their are charities or care homes to help you both dementia is an illness i have worked in that sector and it is hard work god love you .tell your father you have a life to live and it should be him looking after his mother i dont know his situation so cant say but please do try and get help for you all.

Anonymous2012-10-23T09:13:41Z

you are overlooking the obvious, set her house up so you can do some trading over there and get a life and eat breakfast and clean yourself up ya slob.

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