Should I pay my son's college again, even if he messed up twice?
My son is 20. I was divorced when he was 16 and later moved to another state with my new spouse. My son decided he wanted to live back at home with his grandma (against my wishes). His first semester at a community college, he barely attended classes so I had him withdraw and the school agreed to apply funds to the next semester. A girlfriend dumped him and he had trouble getting things together. He did this in high school, as well. Any problem that came his way, he wouldn't go to school. The next semester of college, he did it again--barely attending classes. When I questioned him, he would tell me to stop trying to control him, leave him alone, it's his decision, he's old enough. Later, he said he's afraid of failing. He would say in his mind the night before that he was ready for school. He would wake up and then be afraid to fail, hence why he doesn't attend. He's very confident (almost cocky) on the outside, but he claims he's afraid to fail, which is why he doesn't go to classes. He refuses any mental health. He went to a doctor before but feels anti depressants don't help, and he does not want drugs. My question is---now he is asking for money for the third semester. 3rd try. Do I give him the money. I feel like he's always giving false promises to attend school. Or do I stand firm and say no to the money? Let him learn the consequences by not giving him money. Or be a supportive mom and give the money and hope something clicks and he attends classes?