Im Bored so.. 10 pts?

1. there's an insane man in a flight to Singapore. he went into the plane toilet and throw away the toilet bowl. why did he do dat??!

i told you he's insane.

2. there's a guy sleeping under a tree. he dreamt of himself being knocked down by a car. surprisingly, after 15 minutes some people found him dead. but the accident was only in his dream! why is that so?

he'd been hit by the toilet bowl thrown by the insane man.

cheer up babe!

These two guys are talking in a bar and drinking. They get on to the subject of their jobs and the one guy says "Well, I'm an architect and really I shouldn't really tell you this, but I'm going to make a fortune on this new building I designed. It's suicide proof. I guess with all the problems with the market and stresses of jobs companies have been having problems with thier employess just jumping out of thier windows, so they asked me to design it and I just put up a new one down the street." The second man says "ssssno rrreally? Whatever...shyou're messin with me." The first one says "No really I'll show it to you it's just like a block away." So they go to the building go up on the roof and the first man says "Go ahead jump off." so the second guy walks to the ledge, jumps off and "ahhhhhhhhhh" SPLAT. The first guy looks down says "huh" goes back to the bar and strikes up a conversation with another man. They get into the same conversation and the first man says "No really it's a suicide proof building I made it so that the air goes up and around the building so if you jump off you'll just float there." The second guy wants proof so up they go to the top of the building. The first man says "go ahead jump off." Well the second man is not THAT drunk so he says "No you jump off first." The first man says "o.k." and proceeds to walk off the ledge and float there in the air. The second man says "That is so cool." and walks off the ledge..then "ahhhhhhhh" SPLAT. The first man steps back on to the roof goes back down to the bar, bartender walks up to him and says "Jesus, Superman you're really a dick when you get drunk!"

Try these to pass the time. I have only won connect four twice & I got to 28 seconds on escape, but that was only the second time I'd tried it & I haven't been able to get past 26 seconds since.

Just look in the mirror if that doesn't make you laugh then nothing will because we all are.

You can win yourself a five-star top funeral! Absolutely PHR33! Oh and here's a word from our sponspors.

alright here i'll make you laugh

A man on his deathbed smells the sweetest aroma of his favorite cookies that his wife is baking for him downstairs. Since this could be his last chance he rolls out of bed with his last bit of energy slides downstairs and into the kitchen, he reaches up to grab a cookie when his wife swats him with the spatula. He looks up and asks why... why must you do that? His wife looks down at him and says no you can't have those they're for the funeral.

Why does the blonde wear green lipstick?

Cause red means stop!

An older couple just get done having sex, the old man thinks wow if i would have known she was a virgin i wouldn't have gone so hard on her! The old woman says wow if I would've known he still could do it like that i would've taken off my panty hose!

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.The husband said, "Who was that?"The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy...

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to

itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".

How was that?

there's more chance of my ar*e healing up than me getting these 10 points :)

hey, if youre bored, why not check me out and lets rock each other world..?? give it a shot baby..

there's a black guy and a mexican in a car? who's driving?

the cop lol

i'm the 1st one to answer.... well just think of your funny moments of your past, when you were growing up.