How do you politely tell someone they are overweight?

Chances are, your mom already knows she is overweight which is probalbly why she keeps harping on your dad to lose weight. She is projecting her feelings about herself, on him (IMO).

She knows. There is no way you can tell her and not have it come out hurtful. The only approach I could suggest is to say Mom I know you are worried about Dad, but I think as a family we could all eat heathier. It is really hard to not pick up the junk or eat the pasta and bread with it in the house. Could we maybe stop buying it and look into finding a healthy way of eating that we could all follow? That way you are all heathier. Suggest an evening walk as a family. Hope some of this helps.

Your mom keeps claiming that your dad is fat, but if someone says anything about her own weight, it would upset her? This sounds like a bit of a double-standard to me.

Why not approach it as a family challenge? You can go to a website and find out what the ideal weight range is for both of your parents based on their height and age. Do this for yourself as well.

Then when the subject is raised (or you raise it), just say "I know it is hard to do this on your own, so why don't we all try to lose weight?"

You can then bring out the charts you found, and you try to convince your mom and dad to both compete to lose the weight, (and perhaps yourself as well) with the winner getting something special from the other two.

Well, most people who need to lose weight realize that fact and certainly don't need to be reminded.

But if she's giving Dad a hard time about it..next time you overhear her harp on him say, "You don't have room to talk!"

Just kidding..that wouldn't be productive..

But really next time she says something to him, suggest that if they both started a healthier eating lifestyle together, that might help Dad to lose the weight. And that having the junk food and pasta for supper etc. makes it hard for him to get going on his weight loss.

Lead by example. Buy a weight set for the house. Get them to exercise with you. When you go running or other cardiovascular workout nag them to come along. Throw out all the junk food in the house.

The whole sensitivity issue is bs. Everyone nowadays is sensitive about everything, bunch of wusses. It's survival of the fittest.

Maybe you should encourage her to help your dad out on dieting. So she can enjoy the benefit too. It is hard to loose weight when there are so much junk food around the house. BTW, there is a great show on food network called - Healthy Appetite. Don't tell her that she needs to loose weight, ask her to be healthier so she can see and play the grandchild or travel around the world.

If your mom is anything like most women, she knows the 20 lbs need to go. Her insistence that your dad lose weight is probably more about herself than him! Displaced anxiety?

Anyway. Don't tell her to lose weight. It won't be helpful and it might make her less likely to deal with the weight. Instead, suggest that she help your dad! Tell her to offer to do things with him or invite him to do things with her: a walk, window shopping, visiting open houses, local car show... anything that will get them up and active. In addition, talk to her about changing the food in the house to help your dad. She may be more receptive to the suggestions if you broach it from that angle!

Good luck...

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If she's so sensitive about your dads weight, she's probably quite aware of the extra pounds. There is no polite way to say something to her, and 20 pounds over ideal weight is still skinny by american standards.

If I were you, and wanted to be polite, I'd keep my mouth shut.

If you get over the polite thing, next time she's harping on your dad just look at her sadly and say "Glass houses mom, glass houses..."

From an overweight veiw my self, you probaly don't NEED to tell her. But, she may not know you think this.

If you are part of a gym, ask if she wants to go with you. When she asks why, just say "I need a reason to hang out with my Mommy?" If you and her go, (and have fun with it) you don't have to "tell" her. If not, say you feel you could use some exersice yourself (doctors keep telling me everyone should exercise) and ask if she'll join with you as a family thing. Invite your Dad to go too.

everybody that is overweight knows that they are, no reason to tell them. I would sit this one out, it's between mom and dad. obviously both of them need to make some changes in their lifestyles.