Top 10 Alternatives to a wife?

10. Chips(to go with the beer)

9. Porn Star Neighbor(to ride on the bike on weekends)

8. Porn Star neighbor(other side to do the boat in the summer)

7. Wannabe Porn Star for a maid

8. Ex wifes sister(i liked that) For the Boat or Bike when others are working

7. Ferrari(any model)

6. Pornstar Neighbor(accross the street) for weekends in the Ferrari

5.Big Screen TV(not for Porn! For Sports!!!)

4. own your own Bar, so you can drink free.

3.Porn Star neighbors that like to Paint ball(in all its forms)

2.be James Bond

1. Own your own Video Store(probably all you will ever get?)

Just havin fun in the spirit of the question

outboard boat motor.......

80 miles of bicycle track

Chivas Regal snowcone

Your wife's sister.

a maid

a probation officer

Working 16/7

A team of good hunting dogs in Alabama

My neighbors twin 16 yr old girls

Drilling for oil

50k$ credit line

Paid off Townhouse.

there is no alternative to a wife because you will always have a desire for a mate. this is a natural trait that is instilled in all male species by your creator. you may try to cover it up and hide it, or satisfy with toys, but it will always be there!

Loneliness?

alternate to a wife is only one masturbation wife is not a thing u describe things or possessions u have

Girlfriend, Hunting, Fishing, right hand

How about a pig that can fly? Because that's what you're going to see before a woman ever considers being your wife you sexist idiot.

IPOD

Hookers

Golf

Porn

a husband

your hand