I have a good friend whose 30 yr old son has moved back home. He's been there for 2 years now.?

He needs to start paying her rent.

She can put the money aside to help him get his own place.

Or she needs someone to come in and bust his @ss, because he needs a serious reality check. Sadly she's the one blame because she, as a parent, did not teach him to be independent.

Probably not much you can do because it's evident she has her blinders on. You've made suggestions and rather than try to see your point, she automatically cut off the idea and chose to pity him.

What parents don't understand is by doing things like this, they aren't teaching the child to be responsible for their actions and they make them weak and childish.

If he's paying alot of child support, then he needs to get a second job so he can pay that and have his own place without imposing on his parents and taking advantage of them.

So many parents do this today, it's no wonder society has turned into a bunch of saps who can't and won't stand on their own two feet.

If his parents aren't getting invited, they need to live with it. They should also understand if they get invited somewhere, that doesn't mean their son is invited, too. That is plain rude to take him along without asking if it's ok first or just telling their son to stay home because the invitation didn't include him.

So look at it like this.

Have sympathy for those who do not bring problems on themselves and try to help them. They deserve your help.

Do not have sympathy for someone who brings it on themselves and won't listen to well intentioned people who try to help or make suggestions.

Sounds like you have done your best with this so just accept it and visit with them when you can.

All you can do for your friend is give her advice. She has to get to a point where she feels having him there is a burden and she has to be willing to do something to change the situation. Is it possible your friend enjoys having him there?

Even though she doesn't get invited to various functions maybe that's not as important to her as having her son back. Does she complain about him being there? If so, use those times as an opportunity to remind her that she has to be willing to do something about it in order for things to change. If she's content with him being there, it's her business and there's nothing anyone else can do. If she's not happy with him being there, continue to reinforce the idea that she has to be willing to make a change. Beyond that, let it be. You can't fix it.

It's none of your business. This is between your friend and her son...

Families help each other when they're down. Also, have you even considered, he might just be good company for her?!

I know you want to help your friend, but its seems like she doesn't care. Shes making EXCUSES for HIM. He's NEVER going to move out unless your friend gets off her butt packs his crap throws it outside and changes the locks. Its called TOUGH LOVE!!

Just stay out of it, you will end up losing your friend. Blood is thicker than water.

She must like him being there so mind your own business.