Everything is good except this...?

Question

I've been seeing a man for 5 years now.We are both in our 40's.   We met when he was still married and I was recently divorced.  He is now divorced too and we have a great thing.  Neither of us want to marry until my children are out of the house;  they are teenagers.  We both always put our children first and see each other when we can.  My problem is this... he does not want me to be around his children.  One daughter is 20 and the other is 11.  The older one thinks of me as the woman who broke up her parent's marriage and the little one doesn't know anything about me.  He says I would be a wonderful example for them and he knows they would like me if given a chance but he doesn't want to confuse or upset them, so we keep our lives separate from theirs.  I haven't made an issue about it because I understand in a way that he is trying to protect them.  Still, sometimes it makes me feel very bad that he won't share this part of his life with me.  Any suggestions?

Krinta · Accepted Answer

He is playing with you. When men won't or don't want to allow you to meet their children it's because they are not sure where the relationship is going or exactly how they feel. Both are old enough to understand and being together 5 years should have been time for him to know. I would be upset if the man I was seeing for that long wouldn't allow me around the kids.

luka · Answer

he probably had a good time cheating with you, now that you are both divorced,i don't think that he Willl ever marry you he values his children more than you,you wil always be the other woman.

Storm · Answer

give it some time. if you are really getting married there are many years to come. the girls will grow up and someday understand that dad deserves happiness. 
hang in there. as long as he is actively in love with you too dont take it to heart.

Julius C · Answer

Yes, he is simply putting his children's welfare first ,as he should.It sounds life you have a good relationship,if I were you I would leave it alone.Every relationship comes with problems,this is a small one that will be overcome in time.Good luck.

Lydia · Answer

Well, he's right. The older daughter isn't stupid, and the 11 year old would be crushed.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I wouldn't want anything to do with the homewrecker that split my parents up either..

sounds like he is just blowing smoke up your @ss when he says you would be a "wonderful example for them"..

if he really thought that he would encourage you all to spent time together and build a relationship..

instead he is doing the exact opposite and isolating you

Violet Pearl · Answer

If you dated a married man, you were the woman who broke up their marriage and he's ashamed of you for that.  He doesn't sound all that good for you.

Miss J · Answer

Mind your own business and stay out of his affairs.  He is right to keep you away from his kids since they would probably make his life miserable.

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Everything is good except this...?

8 Answers