creepy tball dad---what to do? what to say to wife?

You can't tell someone their husband is scary. What you can do is talk to your t-ball program supervisor about their policy for inappropriate parents, then you can talk to the mother and tell her that a) dad can not be on the field during practice unless he is part of an activity like the other parents and b) you will not tolerate dad screaming at you or the children during practice. Tell her that you are coming to her privately as a friend, but if it continues you will have to report him to the supervisor or ask the family to quit the team or whatever the consequences of a parents poor behavior are for your team.

As far as the somewhat creepy attention to the daughter, it isn't technically wrong. A 6 year old cuddling her dad or sitting on his lap isn't wrong. If he is forcing her to sit on his lap and it seems to be in a creepy way, or if you see bruises on one of the kids or some other overt sign of wrongdoing, then call your local child protection office and report the family. You should be able to make an anonymous report. If you can't find the number, contact your state department of human services or ChildHelp 1-800-4-A-Child

First off, most leagues have some kinds of rules these days about parent conduct. Just set a rule for everyone that parents aren't allowed on the field and will be asked to leave if they're yelling at kids, officials, or coaches. That kind of thing is totally typical, and sadly, often necessary these days.

Second, you hardly have to tell his wife. I'm sure she already knows. More helpful is to just make clear from how you interact with her that if she needed you you would help her out.

If the kid shows any signs of being physically abused, call the authorities.

The whole point of the game is that, ITS A GAME! These kids are there to have fun! This isnt a training camp! The dad is nuts, you need to tell his wife. Keep encouriging the little boy! Tell him that he will always succeed if he tries, no matter what his dad has to say about it. Tell the dad, next time that he yells at you, this is MY teach and I am the coach. These are 5 and 6 yr olds, they are here to have fun and if you dont like me being coach you can take your kids elsewhere. He doesnt even need to be on the feild anyways!

Talk to the other coach(es) and see what their feelings are. Ask some of the other parents if they are bothered by this freak (oops- dad) doing what he does. It sounds to me like he is a hot head with issues, not to mention a nusance to your practice sessions and bothersome to everyone by doing what he is doing. It's one thing to love your child, but cuddling them in the middle of practice is NOT an appropriate place or time.

I would then make a plan with other coaches to approach him and tell him to LEAVE and he can no longer attend practices because he is bothering other parents, kids and the practice session that the COACHES are in charge of with critquing kids and doing the coaching, not him. If he won't comply or gets violent with you, one of the other coaches should call the cops and have him escorted from the feild. I'm sure you have phone numbers for the kids, call mom and tell them "husband was removed by the cops from the feild for violent behavior and you need to come pick up your children at the softball feild."

If you notice odd bruises or things in the children OR if they ever seem hesitant to leave with him at all, call CPS and report him immediately. Most times they will let you do it annonymously. File a report even if you suspect for the sake of the kids.

I would just tell her what you saw... just say how you were concerned about what you saw... how he was favoring one over the other and seemed very... overly close to the daughter and very mean, almost abusive towards the son. IF it's something that concerns you it's much better to discuss it with her than to find out later something was going on and you might have been able to stop it sooner just by helping her awareness of it sooner...

For the record... I would really want to know if it were my husband and my kids!

I would say something to the wife when you see her. Tell her you are worried about her husband yelling at their son and treating their daughter like a princess. The kids are 6 they are allowed to make mistakes at least let them have fun and the dad should not yell at them everytime they do something wrong.

Hope this helps and good luck

tell her your concerns but do it from a coach's point of view so she doesn't get offended. be like, i feel like mr.---- comes down very hard on junior but shows preferential treatment to his girl. this sends mixed signals to the other kids and it is my job to make sure everyone on the team is treated fairly and that the kids see positive examples and attitudes around them. is there a reason for this behavior? if there is anything i can do to help, please let me know. *or something along those lines...*

also, if he yells at you again tell your husband (if youre married). if not, tell another male coach or someone who can talk a little sense into him. i would stay away from him if i were you. this is a difficult situation to be in. good luck.

That is so sad and unfair to those kids....but not abusive, just sad and unfair. IF you saw signs of abuse, then you should report it to the proper agencies, but otherwise, sticking your nose in there may help or not. If you simply can't stand to be quiet, you could say something to the mother, but honestly, what do you expect her to do about it?

It's not your job to talk to his wife or contact authorities in anyway based on a bad attitude with his kid. It is your job to coach your team to the best of your ability, and that probably means keeping him off the field.

I am sorry to say but he sounds like a classic molestor....call protective services and have him checked out!!!