Does Hubby have ADD? Strange behavior in the restaurants?

If his ex complained as well, I think that's just the way he is.

Don't look too much into it because I'm the same way. I just like to know what's going on around me and am very observant. Perhaps he just likes distractions [no offense to you at all] but I know I work better when I have music going/am watching tv, etc. I enjoy distractions, perhaps he does too.

I have a grown daughter with ADD and she has never behaved that way. Does your husband act this way at the dinner table at home?

Either your husband is snoopy and can't mind his own business when he's in public and was never taught good table manners or he's looking around to see if someone he knows is in the restaurant. If that's the case, I'd wonder why that makes him so nervous.

Your husband greatly lacks good communication skills and I suspect he has some real personality problems. The fact that his ex pointed out that he was being rude to her too and he still insists on being rude with you, says he doesn't care and has no control over his behavior, nor does he intend on changing.

He reminds me of a man who has been in prison. Always checking out everyone around him to make sure he's safe and no one is going to steal his food. He appears very insecure and paranoid. I know this sounds kinda gross, but when he looks around, you might try taking your fork and grab a bite of his food to see what his reaction would be. See if he gets really upset or behaves childish and starts eating off your plate out of resentment.

If you can, I would talk to his parents and ask them questions about his behavior when he was a child.

This may sound strange, but why not make an appointment "for yourself" with a mental health therapist. Tell the counsellor about your husband's weird behavior and ask what would make a person behave this way. I know, the counsellor will probably tell you to have your husband come in and talk, which wouldn't be a bad idea, but tell the counsellor you need some answers right now and how to handle this problem and hopefully in the near future, you can convince your husband to seek some help. It's worth a try.

I agree with your first responder, he seems nervous about something. Any chance he could be hiding something? Has he ever cheated on you or have you ever suspected him of cheating? How long ago did this behavior start? Seems strange, no doubt, but that's no ADD or ADHD or whatever.

What's his history with his ex, why did they split up?

You have probably have the answers right in front of you (in him). If you think he might be cheating, I can send you an article that will allow you to observe his body language for some clues as to whether you should pursue the possibility.

Tell your husband that since his ex complained about the same thing that it is proof that he has this problem and he should consult his doctor concerning this. If he doesn't do this then ask your doctor and tell your husband what he/she said.

Maybe he's paranoid schizophrenic when he's out in public and is totally unaware of his behavior. I don't know but do go and have him see a doctor. Also, go on line and google behavioral conditions.

Good luck and take care. God Bless.

He is not being there in the present. Try a natural setting, where he can relax and truly be himself. If you don't find a solotion where he can have good quality time, go with him to a doctor to maybe begin an evaluation.

If its as bad as you say then how did you come to be with him so long? He could have A.D.D. Or just be very curious. Or maybe he is just staying on his toes incase something involving danger happens. Ask him what his deal is. Let him know your watching his every move and he has to explain himself. Men love that!

hmmm. is this NEW behavior? Makes me wonder why he's so paranoid. Could be a hundred reasons... but it sounds like he has done this before so maybe a mental issue. does sound a bit like ADD

It sounds like to me that he might be paranoid about something. If I were you, I'd take him to see a psych. If he doesn't want to go, maybe check out www.webmd.com and see what that comes up with.

Strange...sounds like a schizo.

And you didn't notice this before you married and had children?

But his previous wife did?

Something IS very wrong. doesn't sound to me like he would even consider counseling.

Have you considered separation?