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Are adopted families way larger than normal? Why?
It just seems like I see more huge families through adoption. I'm truly just perplexed why, if this is true.
Everyone's answers ALL make sense and I appreciate them all -
except Janep556 - huh??? not relevent. we're not talking about who loves more here...that would be stupid and I would never insinuate one way or the other.
I can also appreciate the bottomless heart, but
I also kind of feel yucky about huge families like Erin does and think there comes a point where quality and safety diminish, or older siblings have to becomes parents...
I also wonder, like was it Kateiskate (? - you can't see the answers in this add details form) if it is more of a christian/not christian thing more than an adopted thing?
Ok - keep up any enlightening answers - I really am just curious.
17 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
SOME adoptive families are "way larger" than 'normal', and some biological families are "way larger" than 'normal'. I also know some families that only have one biological chlid, and families that only have one adopted child. It is an individual thing, not a blanket that covers all adoptive families.
Source(s): Common sense and research Personal experience and opinion Mom of three! - 1 decade ago
I think a lot of families that adopt to have large families. I have 8 brothers and sisters that are adopted, and 2 biological. I am the youngest birth, and my parents decided to adopt 1 or 2. If other people are anything like they are then once you start adopting you cant stop. We adopted my brother who is now 16 when he was 3, and then my other little brother who is 11 when he was 1 1/2. then we adopted a sibling group of 4 who were 9, 7, 4 and 2. My parents said they were done after that. Then the sibling groups birth mom had a baby and we took her at 8 days. Then one of my other brothers birth mom had a baby and we took her at 2 months. It is definitely an addicting thing, and I say as long as the adoptive parents can deal with all the issues that come along with it, and are willing to spend time with them, adopt as many kids as you can care for! Everyone deserves a chance to have a loving family!! Oh and we are Christians! if that helps at all...
- Erin LLv 51 decade ago
I have seen some very large adoptive families, or more accurately the children in the large families I know are some adopted and some biological, which I guess is the reason the families are large. The parents of these large families I know had a biological family, decided later in life they wanted more children, so they did a second round of raising kids by adopting. I worry about large families, especially ones with older parents. I feel yucky when I see really large biological families, too. I think it's not good enough for children to be raised by older siblings instead of parents, since parents can't possibly give each child in a family that large the attention they need.
ETA: We have one child, and plan to stop at two.
- 1 decade ago
There are some families that are large because of adoption. We have six. Three bio and Three adopted.
The thing you will often see in larger adoptive families is that they will adopt "less desirable" children. They often adopt special needs, siblings, or from foster care.
The main reason why most of the people I know who have large families that were built through adoption is because they allowed themselves to be confronted with reality the lost and hurt child faced.
They didn't hide in some college office writing op-eds for the Washington Post. They didn't attend UN conferences in 5-star hotels while the locals were starving.
Most of the larger adoptive families I know had no intention of being a "huge" family. They saw the need and attempted to fill it. Then they saw the need again and again. I can assure you when our family has healed enough to give more children a family we will grow.
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- 1 decade ago
I guess it's probably just people who want larger families, perhaps came from larger families, and they happen to have adopted children. I have 4 kids, which I guess alot of people would consider a larger family. Three of my kids are bio, and our youngest daughter was adopted from China a year and a half ago. I know I want to adopt again, because of the huge blessing this little girl has been to our family. So it may be that families have wonderful experiences with adoption and want to adopt again. I also think it would help my daughter from China to perhaps have a sibling from China, or a sibling who is adopted. I guess I have no idea if that is true (she's only 3 so she can't really tell me) so maybe I should ask the adoptees out there.....I'll have to post the question!
- Anonymous1 decade ago
Yes....I think they get "addicted" to adoption and lose sight of how they are going to provide and care for all those children. Its sad when some of the people end up abusing, neglecting and/or returning some of the children.
I grew up in a huge family 11 bio kids but it was mainly due to my mother not being able to use birth control pills. She ended up having a stroke at 45 anyway. Fortunately....we had the resources and many extended relatives to help out.
Not one of my brothers or sisters have had more than 2 or 3 kids...in fact most of my siblings chose not to have children because of having to help raise each other. We already experienced changing diapers and raising a kid and know that its EXTREMELY difficult to give individualized attention.
Children need it more now than ever.....couldn't imagine it being easier with children dealing with the loss and trauma of adoption.
I don't think those types of Aps aren't thinking before adopting. They have tunnel vision.
- 1 decade ago
Well I've seen a few large families that started through adoption, but I personally have seen more large families that were biological. Usually those families are pretty religious and just really don't believe in birth control. I knew a family like that growing up.
- cmcLv 41 decade ago
Most of the afamilies I know have one or two children. I'm from CA where the cost of living is high, so maybe that is why. All the large families (4 or more children) I know personally are non-afamilies. There are a few large adoptive families you hear about on TV, but there are large bio families on TV too - I don't think they represent the majority of either type of family.
- red elephantsLv 51 decade ago
I've never noticed that. The most kids I know personally is 3. Two families that both have two biological and one adopted child. The others are all only children.
On the flip side I know multiple biological families with 6-13 kids.
- GwynLv 41 decade ago
I don't think that stereotype is true but I have seen some large families that have adopted children in addition to their own. The majority of my friends that are or that have adopted are in small families.
Parents wiling to open their homes and hearts are amazing people. Foster children should be with people like that.
How can you say yes to 1 and no to others if you are in a position to help more?
I came from a family of 8 and my husband from a family of 10 with no adopted children.
- 1 decade ago
I think the larger families just get more notice then small ones. Just like if you see a family with like 16 children that are biologically theirs their more likely to get noticed then a family with two or biolgical children. Most people dont adopt a bunch of kids.