Catholics: Can a child deny their confirmation?

If the confirmation was unwillingly done, it means nothing.I feel for this girl.Although the priest could do nothing if she refused to be confirmed, she may have got hassle from her family about it.She probably felt pressure from her family to conform to the family's faith, so I would tread carefully lest you get blamed for causing her to "rebel".I guess by all the tears, her family have grasped her reluctance in the matter.

Darn, she shouldn't have gone thru it. She should have told the teacher of the program, the priest or her parents. God at least knows.

You don't have to make your confirmation until you are truly ready and willing. Tell her to talk to the priest. Without it in her heart, it's not a true confirmation. And she shouldn't be afraid. Several kids don't do it or do it a few yrs later. I personally think the ages for these sacraments are too young.

Go with her to the priest or to tell her parents. And have her tell you want she wants to say to them. Have her practice on you so she will be able to stay focused when she tells her parents. Just don't let her be alone in this. You sound like a good friend.

Maybe after a few more years and a few Bible studies, she will be able to confirm her faith. It's valid in the church but not in her heart and soul, so it's not valid with the Lord either. He knows what she is thinking and feeling. This is a hard age to be.

I'm Catholic and I've never seen them deny any students confirmation. You should speak to your priest and let him know the trouble you are having and ask him for ideas on what you can do to make sure you fulfill all of your requirements. If your parents won't put out the effort to help you I am sure the priest could arrange for another parent to drive you where ever you need to go to get the stuff done.

If she didn't mean her vows, her confirmation is invalidated. In other words, she's not really confirmed.

I don't know exactly what consequences she would have faced from her parents, but the Church probably would have helped her out with that. You see, if she would have spoken with the priest privately and explained that she didn't want to be confirmed and had no intention of taking the vows in any meaningful way and was just doing this because Mom & Dad said, he might have actually gone to bat for her with Mom & Dad and told them it would be best for her to wait until she really wants to be confirmed. A priest is not supposed to confirm ANY person who doesn't wish it.

Not knowing her parents, I couldn't say whether they would have been understanding or not. She also had a sponsor involved -- that person should have helped her out as well.

I am a Catholic parent, but if any of my kids really didn't want to be confirmed, I would allow that child to wait under the condition that it's not just idle waiting but fact-finding and examining the situation to determine what he/she truly believes and how that fits in with Catholicism (or not).

She should have talked to her family and her priest. Confirmation is an act where the person being confimed states that they agree with the faith and teachings of the catholic church. This child obviously was not ready to be confirmed. If I were her, I would go and speak to the priest. Talk to him. Some families are catholic more out of tradition then faith...and others are so dogmatically of the faith, that they forget that to question is ok. Have her talk to her priest...if she's really too scared of her own priest, then she should go seek out another parish nearby if she can.

Some have already said this and they are correct. The Sacrament would have had not effect if it was performed unwillingly. Confirmation is the coming of the Holy Spirit unto a person. It is not for parents or anyone else to attempt to determine one's disposition in regards to the Sacrament. I feel terrible for this child; she is obviously going through a period of questioning her faith and she should be allowed to explore her faith without being bullied. If she expressed reservations to her priest or Bishop, she would not have been forced into the Sacrament, no matter what her parents said. Canon law supersedes parental wishes. She may, with God's grace, find her faith again but she will be guided as her heart sees true. I would hope she does, but she should not be forced into anything.

Those jerks. The whole point of confirmation is that a child reaches the age of reason (able to make decisions for themselves), and they CONFIRM that they wish to remain in the Catholic church. Choosing is the entire point of the sacrament!

Remind her that if she doesn't feel Catholic, the Confirmation doesn't mean anything to her, because a non-Catholic doesn't believe in it and considers it a meaningless gesture.

Unfortunately, she probably would have been punished if she hadn't gone through with it. Best of luck to her. You're a good friend.

When I taught in Catholic school, I did Confirmation prep many times. My colleagues and I often wished that more kids who weren't ready would admit it and not go through with it. Many of us felt that most of the kids--and their parents--didn't really understand what Confirmation was all about and were just going through the motions to get to the big party. I believe it is akin to you Baptists deciding whether or not you want to be baptized. It's a huge decision and should not be undertaken lightly.

It is sad that this girl felt that she couldn't tell her parents or her teachers that she didn't want to be confirmed. No one should be forced to be confirmed if they don't want to be. If she changes her mind later, she could have been confirmed then.

I'm not sure if it's necessary to "deny" her Confirmation since, really, one cannot receive a sacrament because they are being forced to. It's like going to confession and telling some sins but not mentioning that murder you just committed and then receiving absolution. Sure, you can fool a priest, but since God is doing the forgiving, and he knows what you did, you aren't really forgiven. It doesn't "take." Technically, since she was unwilling to be Confirmed but was forced into it, she wasn't really Confirmed. That doesn't mean she would have to do it over, but it means that it doesn't really count.

If she can find a priest she is comfortable talking to about how she feels--and they aren't easy to find--I'm sure he could put her mind at ease. I wish that more kids would take it as seriously as she does.

If I didn't make sense in this or if you have another question, you can contact me or try me at my 360. (Sometimes simply trying to send an email through YA doesn't work for some reason.) Good luck!

That's the last big ceremony she had to do (Baptism, First Holy Communion, Confirmation). She can be whatever she wants in her heart, and in 4 years she can convert, become an atheist or do whatever she wants. I don't know why she shed so many tears over a short ceremony -- especially if her heart wasn't in it.

That is if she isn't going to let her parents bully her into a Catholic wedding and Catholic Christenings for any children she might have later.

If that's what the young lady wanted, that was her right. Clearly, she is not Catholic. And, she should not have it forced on her. And, even though I am a non-denominational Christian, I would say that regardless of what she would convert to. I would hope she would choose my preference. But, I can't force it. Now, bear in mind that I'm speaking as an American. Other cultures might not be so lenient toward younger people.