adoptees who don't want to search?

I have no desire to search but your question brings up two possible answers, depending upon the circumstances. If my daughters wanted to search for THEIR birth parents then, where possible, I would be supportive. My oldest was adopted from India and for all practical purposes there is no way she could search but if she wanted to try, I'd be supportive and assist in any way I could. My oldest was adopted through domestic foster care and as such we do have quite a bit of info on her birth parents and when the time came we would certainly assist her as well.

If any of my daughters, adopted or not, wanted to look for my birth family I'd first find out what their motivations are/were but I'd still assist them if they wanted. My personal feelings though are that I know who my parents are and where I come from. My life has been shaped both by who I am and who raised me, not so much by where I may have come from and their circumstances. What I have and who I am is directly attributed to the love and hard work done by my parents to help me reach my potential as a person and a father.

If I ever have natural children who want to search for my (their) genetic family I would have no problem with it. I would support them and I would give them anything that I had that might help them out. If I ever adopted any children again I would be supportive if they wanted to search for their natural family and would aid them by giving them anything I knew about their natural family.

As far as grandchild reuniting with natural grandparents or any other relative (i.e. Aunt/Uncle etc) I don’t know if it would have a different feel though in some cases some adoptees might find it easier unless their grandparent convinced/pressured their natural mother / father to place them for adoption. I think another thing is that it can be hard for an adoptee to get information so its probably even harder for another family member to search and get that information. I know one lady posted that her ex-husband had no desire to search but when their son was a teenager he did and he had to get his father to sign some papers so that they would release some information to him about his natural grandparents.

I never have had a desire to search for my birth family. It is not because I don't love or respect my birth mom for placing me for adoption, for whatever reason. I thank God for her everyday, because she chose life for me. I have 2 adopted children. Our son had always a desire to have more info about his birth family then our daughter. When he turned 18, before he had a chance to start searching, his birth sister found him. I was very supportive. So much so we let him go visit them in their home state. Our daughter who is not 18 quite yet, has not shown an interest, if she does, I will support her 100%.

My father does not want me to search for his biological parents/family. It bothers me to not know who they are.

As for my son, I've already told him that when he is older we'll try and find his biological parents if he wants to. IF he wants to. I think I will be very curious, as I am already.

I think it would have a different feel. I mean, there's much less guilt involved, on everyone's part. My reunion is much different with my n sibs than my n mom. Not much baggage, lol.

Its almost impossible for me to answer this question, as never searching was NOT an option for me. That being said, my n family is just as much my children's n family, so I feel I do not have the right to prevent them from knowing their heritage, even if I would have never searched.

If I had not searched, and they wanted to, I guess I would just tell them good luck, and that their relationship with their/my n family was THEIR relationship, and I had no saying in the matter, just as I do not in ANY of their relationships.

But- my kids have met my n family, and it really helped fill in the blanks for them, too. Adoption affects our children, too. They also have a better sense of self after meeting my n family. I highly recommend it to every adoptee.

*sigh* i know i'm going to be crucified for this but as an adoptee who never wanted to search I feel ....

that my kids probably would've grown up with my thoughts on the matter if it came up. my daughter and i never really discussed my adoption until the potential for reunion came up so i doubt it would've been anything she would've wanted to do. (that crystal ball would come in handy right now, wouldn't it?).

If, however, my child wanted to search and it was against my wishes then IMHO I would NOT assist in the search. it's my feelings my business yada yada yada

having said all that, when some issues came up with baby girl's health, my bparents weren't of much help because the issue my baby girl has NEVER came up in their famillies. I still believe genetic testing is still an alternative (and yes, genetic testing was completed on my granddaughter as well).

I would be totally supportive if my child wanted to find her birth parents. We're hoping for a semi open adoption, so she'll always know where she came from.