how should i approach this situation, and from which angle.?

Your wife is more concerned about herself and her vanity then about you and your marriage. If this problem is eating at you then confront and give her the option either the online site or you. Honestly you have been upfront and she doesn't seem to concerned about your feelings so odds are you have your answer.

Well buddy I hate to be the bearer of bad news but she has just realized that the single life is looking alot funner then the married life. It sounds like she has the attitude of been there done that (with the marriage) and now she wants to go out and live it up again. I don't know why but I have always had a fear of being married for that long because I know I need that "newness" (you nailed that one right one) The new friends, New scenes, New places, New attitude, New style etc just the whole ordeal of being/ doing something new! She is caring more about herself now about what she looks like and how she dresses (what panties she is wearing) because other guys are giving her attention. You have probably relized in your 20 years of marriage that the only reason to buy g strings or sexy panties is to show them off right? Well if your not seeing them on her I promise someone else is! And as far as staying out all night ( I love the clubs and bars etc BUT I love my man and am totally faithful to him) The clubs wind down around 1:30 (at least where i live) So you hang out in the parking lot talk or whatever maybe go get something to eat that puts you about 2:30 after 2:30 you should be headed home nothing good is going to come if your in a relationship and your out past 3! Think about it! I hope the best for you buddy but for right now I would just have to let her go! Give her the ulitmatium!~ It's you or newness! Not both

Sounds like you and your wife have serious issues. She Is living her life as if she was single and not taking your feelings into consideration. Maybe she wants out of the marriage but I wonder if you want to continue this relationship? After all, 20 years is a long time. Maybe counseling can help if she's willing to aknowledge that her behavior is wrong and is ready to change. Or maybe it's time to realize you've moved in different directions over the years and it's time to move on. After all, we all deserve to love and be loved and be treated with respect. Your wife seems to have forgotten that. Either way, I wish you the best with all that.

Sweetheart, I think she's playing games on you. You are going to have to have a heart to heart and tell her it's time for truth. If she is unwilling to come clean, and won't seek counseling, you may have a crisis that needs you to take the first step to end it all.

I hope you don't have children to know of this heartbreak. If you do, tell her she needs to clean up her act and be a mom and wife first, friend and buddy second, and lover to no one but her husband.

This is toughy. Stick to it and get some answers before calling it quits. She may be just acting suspicious, but it's really not acceptable behaviour.

<--- Well usually, when I approach difficult situations, they become explosive. But seriously, I try not to act on them before I haven take at least a step back to really appreciate the context... unless urgent action needs to be done, which is rarely the case. Most of the time, I come with a delicate way to face them honestly.

sounds like she moved on. sorry about that.

hopefully you can move on and find some happiness AWAY from this 'woman.' i use that term loosely, as she didnt act like a grown woman. she should have had the respect to treat you better and been honest about it by separating from you so that you wouldnt have been confused and waiting for her to change.

it might be the opposite of what you want, but she should have divorced you first before persuing other 'interests.' anyways, protect yourself financially and get a good lawyer.

Hi Joe, your wife sounds like me a few years back. I sometimes wonder how my hubby put up with it, oh yeah he asked me to stop working. LOL I know it is not a joking matter, there are very deep issues their with your wife, need to talk email me. Good Luck!!! really I mean it.

Stay married and put up with this crap for another 20 years or move on. Life is to short.

She has obviously decided to move on... It doesn't sound like she is open to marriage counceling.

Ask her to make a list of what you a

My friend she is looking for little love and understanding from you. what you should do is join in heer fun. be like her. show some inerest in her.