WHY the f**k would he not tell anyone?

Question

My brother went to South Korea (he's 21) without telling our family he left.
he didn't tell my mom, which i understand, because she would try to manipulate him into to not going. He called her after his plane landed in Korea. 
BUT he didn't tell me either. We live in different cities, but we still talk at least once a week, and we are pretty open with each other. He probably didn't tell me because he thought i would call our mom. BUT he is still there and i haven't heard a word from him yet. the only reason i found out he was there is because my mom told me. I freaked out when he didn't answer my calls and a messaged like all his fb friends. 
I sent him a pretty angry e-mail, but he hasn't answered. It's been a week and a half. 
Well long story short: I'm pretty hurt he didn't tell me. Should i tell him that he hurt my feelings or just blow it off like i don't care?

MEAMEAMEA · Accepted Answer

He's a cat's brother isn't he? and cats do that: they disappear for a week or even more then turn up. It's his life. He'll smell his way back. It's not even as if he went to North Korea.

Zoe · Answer

I think you know why he did not tell anyone.  You said it yourself in your post.  Meddlers.

If he is doing it on his own dime and it is his desire to be there why can't you and your family wish him well in his endeavors?  Tell him you will miss him (because you will right?) and that you are there if he needs you (right?)  

He is not going to confide in people who are going to only give back negative.  If he is insane or slow or an addict or mentally screwed in some way, sure, you might have reason to worry.  But if he is a regular 21 YO?  

Write him an email telling him you were stunned, but are hoping he is enjoying himself and that you miss him.  AND before you write, sit down and think about how much better it would be to actually feel that way.

Mr Warrior · Answer

Him going to korea is not the problem. The problem is he is not keeping his family informed on what he is doing and where he is. He can get himself into alot of trouble that way, being so far away and noone to help if he is in trouble.
Hes a big boy, but if he pushes people away like that there will be noone to catch him when he falls.

Awkward · Answer

I get why you're feeling hurt
but maybe he needs some space
maybe he's trying to figure things out..
just let him stay in Korea..if he contacts you, don't be too pissed and just let him talk, maybe he'll have an explanation...

Anonymous · Answer

He's 21. It's ok to feel hurt a little I guess. But he's 21. Let go a little it won't kill you.


And he probably didn't tell you because he knew you'd react like this.

Anonymous · Answer

? · Answer

tell him how you feel so that things like this can be prevented in the future

ICUP · Answer

Alex · Answer

yeah tell him how you feel but maybe he's not answering/calling because international rates are outrageous as far as e-mail idk how that is in korea

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WHY the f**k would he not tell anyone?

9 Answers