anxiety of being molested as a child but now i am an adult felling gross!?

This is called trauma. Trauma means 'wound' in Latin or German, I forget which. Anyways, people repress traumatic events that are intensely painful. The pain never goes away until it is properly dealt with. Another way of looking at it- If a person has a cavity on one of their teeth they need to have the tooth decay removed and replaced with a filler, the cavity itself will never go into remission.

Make an appointment with a local therapist. When people revitalize repressed experiences they usually need the assistance of a therapist to properly deal with the trauma the second time around. It's very bad to continually repress something like this; it's much more common than you think. Although there will always be a scar from this wound, much like a surgical scar on the body, you can find peace in resolving this inner conflict and finally free yourself from the anxiety, discomfort, fear and pain.

You also need a psychologist. Lawyer should be able to make a referral, this might relate to your lawsuit, so talk to him/her.