Do my vampires sound original?

Question

I asked this question about 8 or so months ago and I am hoping to get a few more answers.

I am writing a fantasy epic and one of the characters (out of an entourage) is a Fara-Nor (what I call vampires--the word literally means "against Faraji", whom is the God of Death in the mythology I created).

My vampires were originally an immortal race that were the Guardians of the Nether-Realm, Shepherds of the Dead, and would ferry the souls of mortals across the Realms and enforce the will of the Death God. However, their leader (something akin to an archangel) fell in love with a mortal (a priestess of a new race called "Elves"), displeased, disobeyed, and rebelled against the god. In retaliation the Death God crafted the Blood Runes, thereby cursing them with mortality, the need to feed on the blood of other mortals, and weakness to the powers of his sister Vaayl, the Sun Goddess.

They still have superhuman strength, speed, etc, but are no longer immortal (though with their average lifespan of 3000-5000 years they might as well be). They can reproduce sexually just like Elves, Humans, etc, and only Elders (3000+) have the ability to "turn" a mortal. If any vampire other than an Elder turns a mortal, that individual becomes a frenzied, mindless, ravenous killing machine.

My vampires also earn certain abilities depending on what they feed; for instance, a human wizard's blood would be more beneficial than a commoner's; an Elven sorceress's blood more than a wizard; and a dragon's blood trumps everything.

They also pass on blood memories from generation to generation, and gain the blood memories of whatever they feed on (for example, if they feed on a dragon's blood--since dragons also pass on blood memory--they gain the knowledge of the entire flight)

Kitty · Accepted Answer

I chuckled when I read, "This sounds like Twilight." I assure you, these vampires - your vampires, sound nothing like those in Twlight. 

It's great, really. When I was eight, I'd curl up in bed watching Buffy and the gang slay these blood sucking demons, and I've been a fan of them ever since. I'm always interested to hear different writers' version of them and yours has been one of the most intriguing so far. You have created not only their attributes but the reasoning behind each. LJ Smith did something similar with explaining their vulnerability in sunlight, but she never went into it further than that - which was disappointing. 

The vampires themselves sound pretty traditional, which I like. I love when writers stick with the folklore, like Laurell K Hamilton - LOVE her series. I'm also an uber mega fan of Underworld, because again, they stay true to the traditional vulnerabilities as well as the strengths. The background story however, seems very original. Along with the regulations as to becoming and creating other vampires.

There are a couple things I'm iffy about. First, what you call them. If I read a story about vampires but not once did I see the word vampire, I'd be all, "Psch, nice try; I know what these are!" I suggest maybe having the humans/wizards refer to them as vampires, but the vampires call themselves Fara-Nor. I think other vampire fanatics would agree.

One other thing, the fact that they're mortal confuses me. If they live to be 3,000 years old... what kills them at that point? Do they start aging at a certain age? I just imagine them waking up on their 3,000th birthday and saying, "Oh, crap.." and then dropping dead. Lol. It doesn't seem very believable. I'm sure though, if you go more in depth about it, you could make it work. 

Have fun with this,
kitty

ludie · Answer

Any book these days with the words "vampire" and "befriend" is cliched, go the opposite of cliche and make sure the vampires are their original scary monsters that only "befriend" for their evil gains, i.e. Dracula turning Mina Harker to spy on the vampire hunters.

Bekah · Answer

I think this sounds really neat! it isn't cliche sounding. I would definitely read it... It sounds pretty epic :)

(whoever said that it sounds like Twilight is a moron... Twilight is a love story with shiny vampires and werewolves that change at will... yes I have read those books)

Anonymous · Answer

It's very original - your vampires are absolutely nothing like the ones in Twilight.

I'm not a fantasy person at all, but I think I'd read your story if I saw it on a shelf in a library or bookstore.

~i ♥ ☼~i ♥ ♫~i ♥☺~ · Answer

I don't think this sounds like Twilight vampires. Twilight vampires are immortal, solid as rock, pale, and they sparkle in the sunlight. Your vampires are interesting, and I would love to read your story!!

The Fabulous Dr. Gray · Answer

It sounds pretty original to me, and nothing like Twilight, despite what Amber says.  This sounds way better than Twilight, and very original.  I'd like to read this book.

GB · Answer

I have heard of the blood memories before but the other stuff i had never really heard of , so yea i would say that it is original.

Wonderific · Answer

That's a very well-thought out concept. They sound a little too overpowered/whimsical for my tastes, but you truly put an original, creative spin on them.

Amb_writes (is writing again) · Answer

This sounds like it could be a very interesting story idea and plot. I congradulate you on continuing to work on this idea for over 8 months. Don't ever give up.
My only criticism is this does sound like Twilight. But I don't blame you because twilight is such a huge epidemic anymore that everything sounds similar to it. 
The ideas do sound original in some aspects. I suggest taking out some few details such as the super speed or strength if you want to seperate yourself more from Twilight's ideas.

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Do my vampires sound original?

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