SAHM's housework routines?

Yes, you do need counselling. See your doctor for a referral to a good therapist.

Was that actually the question? Because you have exceedingly poor support, and ridiculous "routines" -- WTF is going on in your home that it requires daily floor-cleaning? Why is your self-esteem so abysmal that you are engaging with people who are calling you lazy? Why is your fiance not willingly helping out; why would you marry such a person?

"I mop the floors in the bathroom and kitchen every day because I like the smell"

That sort of mind-dulling drudgery isn't good for you or your children. Leave your house more often, not kidding; you're going to end up a brain-dead shut-in going around like that.

I don't find it difficult but I do find it monotonous. I have a two and a half year old and a six week old. I'm breastfeeding on demand, I have to make the school run to playgroup every week day and my husband is at work from 8:30am to 4pm so all day I'm alone with the two girls and I have to keep on top of the housework, take care of all the childcare and make meals. I work part-time in the evenings as a proofreader so I consider myself a working SAHM, if you see what I mean. I try and change it up daily. In the mornings, after breakfast, I'll clean the kitchen and bathroom and then spend time with the girls playing, learning and feeding. By the time my two year old goes down for a mid-morning nap and the baby is dozing, I hoover and generally tidy up the living room and bedrooms. Once lunch is over I make the school run and come home for two hours of 'relaxation' with the baby and then pick up my daughter from playgroup only to come home and start dinner and more cleaning before my husband comes home. I don't really get any time to sit down unless they're both asleep and everything is done (like now) or until they're both asleep around 10pm (7pm for the toddler but the baby is a little more unpredictable). It's great to have a routine but it's also good to shake things up a bit, say to hell with the housework and go out for the day. As long as there's no filth and things are clean, a little clutter won't harm anybody. It's more important to keep your motivation up and stay sane.

I personally don't find your requests unreasonable. When I was pregnant with my second child my son had just turned 2 and I was actually working nights and then doing all the household "chores" during the day and on my days off as well. I would come home from work and find the house a complete disaster so it was only natural I would get upset. Finally after a couple months of this routine I ended up changing my schedule to work days instead and my husband and I sat down to go over everything that had to be done daily. We were able to come to an agreement as to which tasks would be done by who. Once my daughter was born he did start to help out a bit more on the things that I was typically doing however you need to take a step back as well and realize not to sweat all the little stuff.

Don't worry you'll both get into the swing of things. Oh and by the way the cat litter box it a must while you are pregnant!

You are working MUCH too hard, especially being 37 weeks pregnant! You need to make sure you have time to enjoy yourself and your children! Unless your house is going to be featured in Good Housekeeping Magazine, LOL, it is just unnecessary.

I do daily chores- preparing meals, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, and each evening I do a general wipe down/pick up (actually, I usually do this twice, but it only takes about five-ten minutes each time but I do it right before my husband gets home (with help from the children) and then after everyone is in bed.

Each day, I focus on a room and I "deep clean" that room. One day is the kitchen (and utility), another is my son's room, another is the master bed and bath, another is the girls' room, antoher is the den (and main bath)...I dust, do windows, wash bed or bath linens, clean toilets, mop, etc. in that room.

This routine keeps things running smoothly. The necessities are done (and of course, if my toddler wets the bed I wash the linens even if it is not that "day") and something is COMPLETED (giving me a sense of accomplishing something, because I am sure you know that you can work hard on a hundred things throughout the house and it not seem like you completed anything).

That said, you work as much as your husband even if you do not have a job outside of the home, and he should contribute somewhat. I never ask my husband to prepare meals, but he does on occasion (grill, for example) and he takes care of the majority of the outdoor chores and fixing things. You are not lazy and you are not being unreasonable. This is something that many couples disagree about, and you two need to define what is right for you without the help of friends, family or anyone else (because noone else's opinions are going to matter).

You are not lazy, When it comes to house work and child care it does not stop at 4:30. So why on earth should he get to stop at 4:30 but you don't that is Bull. What you are asking is reasonable and you could be asking for more if you see fit. There should not be a limit on what you ask him to do because it takes a family to dirty a house so it should take a family to clean one. My Husband works long hours so he doesn't do as much of the cleaning as I would like. So one of his weekly chores is to give my daughter a bath when she needs it. We both work on making super in the evening, its quality time together since we don't have much and he washes the baby bottles. Sometimes when your partner does little things around his schedule helps you not stress about the other thing that need to be done and it allows him to contribute when he has more energies.

Why don't you just sit with your husband and come up with little things that he can do here and there that would make your life easier and would fit his schedule. Its important to have a good balance because with the new arrival you might not be able to do all of what you are doing now.

Here's an interesting thought.....Babysitters get more respect for doing the same job (though probably less as sahm's tend to do errands and the housework as well), because they get PAID to do it and it is considered a traditional "job". Take away the pay, and you have a SAHM with extra work and little to no respect. Completely unfair. It seems that you are like me.....feeling as if you need to meet those high standards that society and those around you (your family) have set for you. If the husband works, you must never ask for help. I am seriously having a problem with that currently. I actually feel guilty and get stressed out when I ask my husband for help, like I feel I shouldn't and it's wrong. How messed up is that? Your requests are definitly not too much to ask. And it's great your hubby is happy and willing to step up. :) All we really can do is work on not caring what others think we should be doing and simply block them out. Easier said than done, and I'm currently working through it as well. Good luck hun!

What I do (varies a little day to day):

Take baby for a long walk or go to the baby friendly gym

All your feedings, burpings and changings of course,

TONS of play time, just on the play mat, playing with toys, or reading her stories

bath time

running errands (grocery shopping, and anything else husband or I need done)

Cook Dinner

Clean the house (oh boy that's too much to list, but it's an every day thing, some mopping, dusting, making beds, dishes, laundry)

Pay all the bills

take online courses

and I'm currently trying to set up a little online shop where I will sell craft items.....why am I doing that? Not just because I enjoy crafts but because I feel I must contribute finanancially to the family and have something "going for me". My husband is a big fancy air force pilot, everyone loves hearing all about him and his fun job, but me they quickly overlook, so I feel I need to do SOMETHING. Ugh what's the number to a good therapist again haha.

Whomever tells you that you don't do enough is a jerk. You do more in a day than I do all week!

Every day I:

Wash the dishes

Go grocery shopping

Feed the kids

Feed the dog

Sometimes feed myself

Make supper

If needed I'll do the laundry and clean the aquariums. The only time I vacuum and dust is if the dust bunnies start chasing the dog!

You are most certainly entitled to ask for some help from time to time. You aren't a slave, and he's not your employer. And when the baby is born, you'll need even more help!

1st off you are not lazy...

you do a tonne of work, it is a scientifically proven fact that SAHM work the equivelant of 2 full time jobs.

im nearly 33 weeks pregnant and until just recently i was working full time aswell as doing most of the housework, i am now at home all day, and now given that my daughter is at school all day it makes my life a little easier, i can get the housework done at a pace that suits me, my husband does the hoovering and mopping for me cause i cant stand for too long, and he helps with the evening meals, he lets me do what im comfortable with and then when im struggling he takes over. he doesnt moan or grumble, he laughs and sits me down on the stool in our kitchen and makes me talk to him whilst he does what i need him to do, infact after reading your story i am very grateful to him....give your man a kick up the backside and tell him you need his support, he helped to create this little life inside you and he needs to help you cope with the work load involved at least until the little 1s are a little older

you ARE NOT lazy! being a stay at home mom is a full time job in itself. then on top of it your list of daily activities is far less lazy than what i do in the week.

i don't have a specific time or day for any of these but this is what i accomplish with a two year old and a 16 week old in a weeks time:

1. grocery shop for a weeks worth of food.

2. go to the bank for quarters for laundry

3. do 5 loads of laundry (usually in one day)

4. wake up every morning and iron my husbands work clothes

5. make his lunch every morning

6. cook dinner

7. make lunch, nothing fancy

8. and pick up toys all day long.

9. i get around to dusting maybe every other week

10. bath for 2 year old every other day

11. bath for baby every 3 days

12. the rest of the time we play play play or i have time on the computer while he plays. it was his birthday on friday so he has a tons of new toys right now, so i don't have to entertain him that much. but i believe house work should come second in playing with children and spending the time with them while they grow. my house is by all means not disgusting at all. but i have put dishes off for a day to play cars.

Im 37 weeks too!

I would make him help too. Im on bedrest and I cant even get my husband to help me now with anything, and I have even started nagging and he doesnt care lol.

Id say your doing a very very good job! Your not lazy at all your doing a ton of work, more than me because I dont do laundry every day, I do it all once a week and I hate washing dishes lol.

Delegate him some chores.