I NEED SERIOUS ADULT HONEST HELP ABOUT?

My marriage. For 3 little over years, my marriage has been slowly crumbling down. TODAY, my husbands father & step mom R coming to our state. The travel the world on their sail boat & about 1 1/2 months ago, they departed the boat and decided to travel across the US and visit their kids & see Grand kids. Well, surprise we get the phone call last night, they will be here tonight!OMG -1st, let me tell you I have been ill for 5 years off & on, 2 major surgeries, have a genetic disorder I found out when I turned 40 I was born with. I have due to the illness become MCD/GAD Severe. Major Chronic Depression and General Anxiety Disorder. I cry everyday, every night. I also see a counselor (I haven't seen her in about 4 months, going to see her in the new year, they R booked)my psychiatrist that I have been seeing for 3 years left the County to his home. NO phylacteries, which-ed helped so much I stopped seeing the counselor, he was like my link to breathing & helped me sort all of my problems out, he was the best. I have know one to talk to now. Except all of YOU, so Please with this holiday coming near, his parents coming today that have no idea we have marriage problems and I am not putting an act on for them, I think they may get a hint that things are a little different since there last visit 6 years ago.

Problem, husband & I argue constantly, that has slowed up the past week. I am being told constantly, "Why do U do this?" "Why do U want 2 ruin our nite" "I love you, U don't love me"--" U make it all up in your head" "U twist things into what U want them 2 b or how U want them 2 look" there R more, but these R the 1's that come 2 mind. I have told him, especially last night, I need compassion, comfort, I am so lonely I just want some1 2 hold me, love me. Comfort me. He says last night, come over hear on the couch, hesitantly I went, he put his arm around me. we were watching a movie. I tried to tell him, no I did tell him all I wanted in a man, which he should know by now, being together for 11 years. HE does no, we've been like this in our marriage almost 3 years. Our intimacy is nothing, we have had sex 2 times this year, last year about the same.

I can't even satisfy myself anymore! I am sad, lonely I told him last night as he has his arm around my waist "I am starving for compassion as a woman, he kept his arm around me and patted my back. He calls that attention to a woman. Yes, I have tried the little nities w/ g-string and when I parade in front of him, even like last xmas night last yr. I wore a very sexy santa outfit, very very hard for me, I am extremely selfconsciouss of my fat saggy body, I once was really huge, lost a lot of weight when I was sick and was 128 & last xmas night I weighed about 145. All he said was "that looks nice" that is it, last xmas eve. Well, eventually I went upstairs, took it off & got in bed. I mentioned it days later, why did U take it off to get into bed? I said, because, I wanted to be comfortable and most men would of got the hint, if not jumped on their wife right there on the coffee table! This anniversary, in Sept. 10 years marriage (a decade) we did nothing, all I wanted was a bottle oChampagnegn & go for a walk in the wooden path, he comes in the house after people stopping by, he says, I am just going to go to the store, he knew I wanted thChampinggn & when I get back we can leave, I can leave my friend working in the garage. I went to get ready, I dressed up 2 walk in the woods w/makeup on and everything. He left me sitting at the computer while he was out in the garage w/his friend talking for over 4Min'sns. he came in, he said you ready, I said oh sure, went went for a walk, he got a blanket out, put something in the blanket (me thinking it is the bottle) and went walking down the path, he takes a detour we never have and now has my curiosity at a peak. Finally he stops, unwraps the blanket and takes out a beer and keeps walking. I said I thought you were going to get us a bottle ? He said, I did it is in the fridge, we will have it later, and by the way, got done w/the walk went to the car, he hugged me, we got in went home to watch tv. I asked him about 9pm, hey lets get thcampaigngn out, he said, how aboutomorrowow night, I said WHAT he saidyeaheh, we''ll do that.

I am just to tired of this, I can't take it, I am so sad,lonely,frustrated,hurt, needing compassion so much, someone to hold me and tell me everything is fine, he says that is why I am here, I saiyeaheh, and you don't do it. He says " I Try to". I just don't know any more. PLEASE SOMEONE OUT THERE, TELL ME HOW TO FIX THIS, OR HOW TO LIVE LIKE THIS. I HAVE NOT LAUGHED OR SMILED IN YEARS AND THAT IS THE GODS TRUTH. PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR HONEST OPINION after all I am human. 1 more thing, my daughter especially is noticing mom is not happ