What to do I do about a coworker who talks down to me when certain people are around?

Hello,

What you are describing is a common form of "workplace incivility."

What I can tell from what you have written is that you have tried direct communication and when that did not work you approached your supervisor. Good job. Your supervisors recommendation to keep detailed documentation of each incident is really good advice. This lets you build a case. I would make sure that your documentation includes as much detail as possible and each incident is dated and includes the time of the incident.

Once you have what you feel is a substantial amount of information make a copy of it and take it to your supervisor. Sounds to me like you have a sycophant on your hands and this type of person is extremely hard to work with.

Is there anyway you can turn the tables on this coworker? For instance, when she does this, is there a way you can make her look like a fool without making yourself look like you are part of the problem? If not, stick to the original plan and document everything.

Does your workplace have a grievance policy? Does your workplace have specific bylaws about harassment? This is workplace harassment. When you present this information to your supervisor be sure to emphasize the fact that this is distracting you from your work.

Hope this helps.

I have been in this situation before, if all fails you need to start looking for a another job while having this job and keep moving forward until your at a job where you feel comfortable and no one is harassing you. Maybe, you should find a job where you're working independent and have no female supervisors. Remember it isn't you, its her with the issues.

Keep documenting it, just in case something goes bad but yah what she's doing is acting violation and is harassing you at work, she should be report or get fired for doing that. That doesn't mean her, her director both won't get in trouble when they see her doing wrong!

I would document everything, keep doing it so if ever need it come you can take it to court and file a law suit and sue the company for mis conduct and harassment at work.

She feels like she has power by invaildating you! The key is she wants you to fear her and you can't fear her or let that get to you! You can't. If you run away from your fears, she will keep walking all over you and doing it more and more with bullying you.

So, whatever you do, don't let her invalidate you, but watch what she does and if you see her doing wrong, document that as well and date it. That way you can bind message her, put her in her place. This way she won't bully anymore because you have dirt on her.

Its called mirror imaging the situation when a nasty person bullies you. Or if you have witness I would ask them to back you up if you do take it to court, for seeing the way they're treating you.

No, you have to do what your supervisor said. Document the incidents. That is the only way she can reprimand and fire this narcissistic person. She already gave you the answer, so if it really bothers you, you have to do what she told. I had to have proof and documentation in order to fire people. I couldn't just fire someone because I didn't like their cheap perfume. So do what you were told to do and document it. Maybe you can get her on tape or video tape her, some cell phones can do that these days. It may seem petty to you, but you really do have to have a lot of documentation in order to fire people, do what you have to do. In her narcissistic mind, she is right and the world is all wrong, she doesn't have a problem, you do. Narcissistic people can't take responsibility for their actions and behaviors, in their mind they do no wrong, so in their mind, they justify their behavior. Her need to slam you and put you down, is normal behavior in her mind. I am sorry she treats you so badly, but you have to do what your supervisor said, you have to give your supervisor the evidence and proof she needs to get rid of this person. I have fired a lot of people in my life, but I could never fire someone without documentation and proof, so prove it.

Call her out on her own pettiness. Reply back to her in a NOT LOUD BUT firm voice by saying something like "That's petty nonesense you're complaining about. Why don't you come back when you have something real to complain about? This just makes you seem childish". I also liked S A's advice to you and you should try that too. If all else fails try Tigger's advice too.

I would tell her right out what I think. I did that once when I quit choir at church and the choir director kept bugging me about it. Every time, and I mean EVERY time she seen me she would mention something about coming back to choir. After about not even a year I was so sick of it. Finally we were at the hall kitchen doing some cooking for something and she started in again so I looked her in the eye and said "if you ever say anything to me about choir again, I'll kick your butt" ! I was loud enough for everyone there to hear it. She stood there with her mouth agape and has never said another word about choir to me. Sometimes you just have to make the same kind of attack they know so they understand you...

Get her an extra big bottle of Midol and a Tonko Toy Supra that plugs into the wall (off-road model).

Gift wrap it with flowers & chocolates. Slip in a Get Well Soon.

I've had this happen. What I did was act overly nice and make her look like an *** when she does it. I even threw in things like "are you okay, you seem to be having a bad day I hope it gets better for you", then act overly positive (almost overly sappy) and do NOT let her know she's getting to you. I said things like "I hope you feel better soon...hope things turn around for you everybody deserves to have a happy life"

that's a tough one. unfortunately, every Business is like high school and you have your cliques. id just concentrate on doing my work that way i know my job isn't at risk. if she gets loud id just walk away. if she isn't your boss she shouldn't be telling you what to do. put a tape recorder in your pocket or use your phone and record her speaking down to you.. and if she isn't in charge of you id take it in to your boss and let him hear how you are getting spoke to.. their are rules everyone has to follow!

Prove that youre as good as her, not by going outof your way to make her look stupid but try and work hard to earn her and your supervisor's respect.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Good luck! :)