my mom's bf is a doucherrrrrr...?

Question

so the deal is .. my mom's f is like 31 yrs old she's 45.. okay so story goes that i met him when i was 19 ( im 23 now) i knw this is none of my busness but this bothers me... 4 yrs ago he was fully aware that m mom ha 4 kids.. ( sister 17)  (brothers both 16). his family is soooo dunce... like they dont get that my mother is a widow and fine yeah i supprt myself but her widow pension and job is all she has to go on.. i pitch in as much as i can..   tis d!ckwaad  of a guy doest do anything.... everytime im at her place which is like everyday hes in the bedroom waiting for food and watched movies and smokes all day doesnt step foot outside the room and waits for frnds to call him then u8ses my moms car to go out till 3 am!! im like uuhm okay.. well today he yelled at my mom saying that he was embarrassed that she had 4 kids and that she's a single mom with no money. and he said that to her infront of his ENTIRE FAMILY. and said you wont marry me  blah blah.. her response: well i cant do anything about it cus my widow pension is all i got to go on with the kids and sinse you dont work ordo anything i can afford to stop my widow pension unless you start to pitch in:" he looked at her like wtf y should i?    my mom left and came home with tears in her eyes and i listened while i was fuming... and to top it off... todays my dad's birthday he would have been 47 today .. and she always gets upset at this time  he was killed when i was 17 with all of as at home,, and her BF knows what happenned so i think hes just totally selfish...   what do you think about this guy?   *** or what ?  freeloader?

James Watkin · Accepted Answer

Ya, the guy is a bum but your mom is the one with the issues.  She obviously has little self-esteem at this point in life or she would make better choices.  Perhaps you could get her to go to counseling (without the loser) and work through her issues so that she can feel good about herself.  That would lead to her getting rid of him.

Take her to do things that make her feel good about herself.  Take her for pedicures and manicures.  Take her out walking.  Get her talking about her feelings and listen.  I suspect she is hurt, lonely and that coupled with thinking he is the best she can do leaves her in this situation.  The better she feels, the less she will need just anyone.  And the more she will think about how much better she can do.

rebecca r · Answer

Yeah, the boyfriend is a loser.  Instead of going to your mom's house, invite her to your place instead when you know the bf won't tag along and you won't have to put up with his lazy butt.  When she invites you over, politely decline.  She'll get the message loud and clear.  This seems like a relationship doomed for failure.  Rather than get mixed up in their drama, stay out of it, and be prepared to support your mom when he dumps her for someone younger and/or wealthier.

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my mom's bf is a doucherrrrrr...?

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