Need serious advice,no offensive advice(open to ladies only)?

this is a long story,

apologize (don't scold me im a family wreaker)

i met him yesterday again 4 my advance birthday celebration but we didn't do anything just 2 confess what were our feelings 4 each other.

last year we met each other,we became friends i realize i had fallen in love with him he was a family man.i don't have intention 2 break up his family,we didn't meet each other since 3 months ago,he was busy with his family & career till on this day a very wrong thing had happened i supposed 2 share my family problem with him perhaps my SMS had mistaken him as i SMS him that can i have personal companion when we meet up we meet 4 lunch after lunch i started my conversion he told me let's talk more in the hotel.so i followed him,while we were talking in a hotel he borrowed me a shoulder 2 cry on then he removed his shoes & socks lastly his shirt/long pants & brief in the end both of us had *** after which he send me back i was horrified i will get pregnant cos he didn't use protection.

well,im the willing party my reason i gave in i want 2 spite ex bf who was doing the same thing while we were in a 2 years relationship his reason was he has the urge of having sex.yet i don't feel guilty what both of us done

a few months later,we went out 4 lunch again he told me we've 2 break up this relationship as he told me he can't play the stakes too high till now i can't resist him despite of breaking up.many thinkings have come 2 me 2day,i have realize how important his family placed in his heart as the last time we met he had told me if 2 chose over a girl & his wife his reply was his wife he says he has went through good & bad with his wife.although i defeated lose,but he gave me 2 choices either i want 2 continue like last time a moment of folly or i want him as a friend.

well ladies,don't tell me 2 break up this friendship cos im truly addicted 2 him as he's like everything 2 me now he's the first person who build up my confidence/he's my listening ear.