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is it possible to live a happy life paying child support?
My ex girlfriend is a pyscho and took herself off birth control to get pregnant. She knew i was done with the relationship and that i was beginning to talk to other girls and i know it's my fault i had unprotected sex but never in my wildest dreams did i think someone would do this. I was young, naive, and ignorant. However after not speaking to her for two years i get a piece of mail saying i have a 13 month old daughter that i'm being sued for child support for. Well it's been about a year since and things are going pretty well. I've done my best to mend the relationship despite not wanting to just for my daughter whom i love and want to do everything before but there's a couple of questions i have. If i pay child support will i ever be able to live a happy life financially? it's 17% of your salary and i should come out of school with a decent job. I'm graduating from a good school with a business administration degree, and a 4 year collegiate athlete with no criminal record and the other question i have is will girls still want to date me? idk i feel like it's a stupid question but knowing the fact that i have a child kind of hinders my ability to talk to girls because i don't think they will be interested. If anyone out there has experienced any of these issues please help! and seriously i know i was irresponsible and s**t does happen in this world. I don't need to hear from people that i should have done this or shouldn't have done this. I'm looking for advice in the situation that i'm in currently. Thank you.
11 Answers
- 9 years ago
It's different life with or without a child in US.
If you have a non-cash job once, you will proove that you have ability to earn the salary. If you ex does not agree, your child support cannot be reduced even in unemployment because you have the ability to earn. If you are skeptical of not making maximum effort to pay child support, you will be caught in prison if you own $1500 of child support in more than 15 days upon requested by your ex or child support enforcement agency, if you have no house to be foreclosed. Prison is full of raping and abusing. Never put yourself in prison even one day. After being in prison once, you will probably have your child support reduced because it will be almost impossible for you to find a decent job again.
If your ex is a normal reasonable woman, you can negotiate a deal to be best for all of you. Specifically in NYC, most of the judges understand how hard it is for a non-custody parent. They will not try to drive you to another country so that the child will have to look for public welfare.
Please read the detail laws about child support issues. Most of the state support courts are full of people there. Try to use a lawyer because the judges will have no time to hear your reason.
I also believe the 17% is the base support. You also have to pay 100% of daycare expense and 100% medical expense if your ex is attending full time schools. Please ask the oppinion of a court on-call support lawyer.
- thatartistwinLv 79 years ago
" If i pay child support will i ever be able to live a happy life financially? " ......"IF"? You mean "When". You don't have a choice but to pay child support. Further, "sh-t" does not happen. Things happen because of actions. YOUR actions. You are not only one half responsible for this child coming into the world, your worry should not be what girls you can get (that is what got you into this situation in the first place) or if you can live comfortably. Your child needs to be your main focus. If you have to live uncomfortably so that your child can have a decent life, oh well. That is what being a good dad is about.
- 9 years ago
Yes you can live a happy life. Yes you will meet women who will accept your daughter because if she wants you she must understand that you and your child come as a package. With your education you will be able to have a career that not only will give your child good financial support but will provide for your lively hood as well.Yes it is OK for you to be concerned about women because you want a woman that will love your child the same way you do. The "that's what got you in this situation in the first place" comment is way of base. Just because you have a kid does not mean you can not live well. Life does not stop because you have a kid...just include your kid in your life. Remember this child support is not only a check but requires your time, discipline as a father, and your love. Also, just because you pay child support that does not mean you don't have to do things for your kid like clothes, shoes, stuff for school etc. Don't let folks get you down on this telling you that you have to get two to three jobs to support yourself or that you have to live poorly to support your child because that is a bunch of crap. Look...pay your child support...spend time with your kid...love your kid...show your daughter what kind of man she should marry in everything you do. Trust me it's awesome being a dad.
Source(s): I have four children I pay for....I own a house...I'm married....blessed and highly favored. - How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
- 5 years ago
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- 9 years ago
Go to the library and read your states family laws. Child support will not hurt you if you know them. The child support agency will hurt you if you let them. Look up the rules yourself or get a good lawyer.
- LegandivoriLv 79 years ago
Actually, it is a wake up call. You;'d have to get another job off the books too, and find some odd jobs too, or sell on ebay. As far as who you can get with not that much income, it'll keep the goldiggers away, for real. May people are NOT golddigers and just want a good guy. Never turn away marrying a female doctor.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Girls won't be reluctant of you because you have a kid. They will be reluctant of you because you are whining about child support when its your responsibility to pay for it. The court systems are fair. So man up, pay what they've told you have to pay, and take responsibility for the beautiful life you brought into this world.
- LeonaLv 45 years ago
What you want to say whether he is right or wrong, its a human tendency of scaring responsibilities. but the perfect man would be who takes responsibility